10 month old trouble settling down

[Darls3000]

Hi there
This is my first post on this site and I am very hopeful that you'll be able to help me. I have just finished reading GNS and I love it! I am keen to start the cure with my gorgeous daughter who is 10 months old. I have a few questions though:

She already sleeps 11/11.5 hours a night. I sleep trained her months ago and she also will nap twice a day although not always for as long as she needs.
I bought the book because I need help settling her down at night and for her naps so I can avoid the tears. She usually settles herself after 10/15 mins of playing in her cot, shouting and very few tears. Sometimes though it can take much longer and she has also missed a nap completely.

Also, I have noticed that she always was asleep by her bedtime of 7pm but lately this has become 8pm and last night nearly 8.30pm. She just doesn't seem tired when we put her down and I am concerned that this is going to start effecting how she sleeps at night.

Do you think that the cure is the right approach for my daughter with the help that I need? I really hope you can help me. I dream about being able to settle her in 5 minutes and I dream of being able to get her to sleep for longer than 35 minutes in her cot.

Her schedule at the moment is this:
6.45 / 7am - wake - milk
8am - breakfast - porridge w/banana etc
8.50 - put down for nap (usually 30-45 mins)
11.30 - Lunch
12.30 - put down for nap (usually 60-90 mins on a good day)
2.30 - milk
4 - snack
5 - dinner
6.45 - bottle, bed

I look forward to hearing back from you.
Katherine x

[Luvisen]

Hi there!

I was thinking when looking at your schedule that on a bad day you are missing 45 min of sleep and on good days your daughter seems to get the sleep she needs. So, from what you write it does not seem like your daugther is sleep deprived, in any grave manner anyhow...

Maybe you should try to tweek the schedule so it fits the feeding times given in the GNS-book. The afternoon seems to have to many meals to tight so maybe that will have some effect on going happily to bed.

You wrote:

I dream about being able to settle her in 5 minutes

Is this the main aim for doing the cure? Cuz most of the time when I put my child to sleep the actual "putting to bed procedure" takes only 2 min but that doesn't mean my son sleeps within 5 min. It depends on the day. Sometimes it takes 20 min cuz he didn't want the day to end and sometimes he can't wait for the day to end and he sleeps in 1 sek. Sometimes he has lots of questions and most of the time he has no questions at all.

Just my thoughts, from reading your input...

Kind regards/Luvisen

[Darls3000]

Thanks so much for your reply. It's good to know that you don't think she is sleep deprived. It's just that some days she seems to fall well short of the 14 hour mark.

My daughter isn't a great eater - her appetite isn't very big and often, she doesn't eat lunch and so although it seems as though the meals are close together, a snack is a rice cake and slice of pear for example. Maybe a bread stick. Nothing big but maybe I will try and copy the schedule from Anna's book.

The main reason I want to try the Cure is that I want my daughter to be able to sleep outside of the house and settle well in the afternoon in other places - not just her cot. When I visit my mother in law, it is always very hard because I know my daughter will go 8 hours with no sleep because she will not go to sleep in her house no matter how hard I try. It is not dark enough in her room, my mother in law does not have a cot, my daughter won't sleep much in the pram and so i find this makes me feel so guilty. But we have to visit the family otherwise they would not see her.

Hope to hear from anyone who can advise me, thanks again.
Katherine
x

[Luvisen]

I know lots of children eat a lot better after being cured so maybe a cure is not such a bad idea

Also it gives u tools to give the little one the answers she needs in order to calm her down and go to sleep anywhere u are. But when you cure her you must make sure she has what she needs: pitch dark room at night, dusk during daynaps, schedule executed by the minute etc...it's in the book. And some darlings need the pitch-dark night for a looooong time. My son does. So when we sleep away he has a handy travelcot that we put a black sheet on to mark the night. Its been a bit more than 5 months since I cured him- now he sleeps like a dream, but it was a process- no quick fix

Good luck with whatever u decide.

//Luvisen

[Darls3000]

Thanks again.
Believe me I am not looking for a quick fix - I know how hard I worked to sleep train my daughter when she was 4 months old and so I am willing to do what it takes if it helps her know that all is well in the world and she can sleep when I reassure her that all is well.

I have blackout blinds that I travel with so I am prepared to make the room darker but I just know that she gets excited being in new places and gets super distracted so that is what stops her being able to let go.

thanks

[Darls3000]

Hello there - would love some advice if anyone is available.

We have been following the Cure for nearly 2 weeks now and with great success - so pleased. We were already getting sleep in the night but the improvement with naps has been wonderful and now most days, my daughter will sleep for 1hr30 mins in the afternoon.

However, I have found 2 things have happened in the last couple of days:
1. She has started to wake at 6am and she chats to herself quietly and I leave her in the cot till 7am but she doesn't fall back asleep and it means it is very hard to keep her awake as long after breakfast before her first nap of the day.

2. She has started waking after 45 mins in the afternoon after doing 10 days of 1hr 30mins. This has happened the last 2 days. When this happens, I go in and reposition her and say the jingle as I leave but she is wide awake by now. I have also tried to take her out in the pram but she never falls asleep in the pram even when she is yawning.

I obviously want to carry on with our progress but the last 2 days have not been as good. please Anna, do you have any words of wisdom for me?

Thanks you very much

Katherine
x

[TorsMamma]

Hi Katherine,

What is your schedule you have planned?

In the mornings we can do one of three choices.

1. You Jingle with the tone (the morning is not here, you can go back to sleep) outside the room. Then leave the child alone until wakeup time.
2. You Jingle and play classical music (we like Mozart and Strauss no singing) until child is calm.
3. You do nothing at all, not even a jingle because it is night and at night everyone is sleeping.

If you start entering the room and use the tools you only say to the child in action that morning has come, so think like it is 1am at night you have the right attitude.

If it was my son I would leave him alone with his talking.

Also make sure the bedroom pitch black, if not you can tape up aluminum foil on the windows and evaluate after 2-3 weeks.

[Darls3000]

Thank you for your advice - very good to know that what I am doing is the right thing. It happened again this morning - she woke at 6.00 and I left her and didn't go in and I didn't jingle. She talked to herself for 45 mins and finally started to fuss. I have blackout blinds but I think it is the very bright mornings that may be waking her 1 hour earlier than normal.
Will try and fix them the best that I can.

Do you have any advice on what to do about her waking after 45 mins in the afternoon nap? Thank you again

K
x

[TorsMamma]

It all depends on what the times of the schedule is?

[Darls3000]

Sorry I forgot to add that. Her schedule is:

7am - get her out of bed (lately she has been waking at 6 but I wait till 7 to bring her downstairs)
7.05 - milk
8.05 - breakfast
9.00 - 9.45 - Nap
11.30 - Lunch
12.45 - 2.15 (sometimes) - Nap
2.30 - milk (snack)
5.00 - Dinner
6.45 - Milk
7pm - sleep

Thanks

[TorsMamma]

Hi,

I believe that if you shorten the morning nap to only 20 min you will get her to sleep a bit longer in the morning. 12+45+1,5 is a bit over the top for an almost 1 year old. The amount of sleep needed for a one year old and the whole second year is about 13,5 hours. So by shorten the am nap to 20 min it should help and then when the time is needed you shorten it to 5 min and then it will be removed all together perhaps around 15-18 months or so. My son had 2 naps until he was about 16 months. Some days he slept and some days he didn’t on the morning nap. He also had the playing alone in the morning you can read more about in the FTLOC (For the love of children book) I recommend it highly to start reading to understand all about your child’s development and raising methods.

[Darls3000]

Thanks for your reply - very useful. I will try to shorten the morning nap from now on.

I will try and order the FLOC book in translation - I have only read GNS so far. I want to try my hardest to give my daughter the best start that I can. I already encourage her to play alone and entertain herself which works well most of the time but she suddenly seems to be going through separation anxiety so it is less successful - this may be the perfect time for FLOC.

Thanks
K

[Darls3000]

Hi there

I have found the For The Love Of Children book but it is too expensive because it is still in hardback. Do you have any idea when it will be in paperback as I am very keen to read it?

thanks

K

[TorsMamma]

Hi, For the love of children is a bit expensive, but let me tell you, the quality of the book is outstanding.

http://www.annawahlgren.com/index.php/s ... nska/books

I'm sorry but i don't believe that the book will be coming out in paperback at all since it is a BIG book and you read/use it for many of years. It covers from pregnancy to the 18th birthday. So it is well invested money.

[Darls3000]

Thanks - that makes sense. Will start saving for it now then.