Hi Sonja,
Thanks for your feedback. Anna writes in the book about the 1,5 year old that you can put in the bed with a nice bribe while you as a parent catch your breath. So it is not ostracism it is about but for you to catch your breath a moment if she is screaming terribly.
A two year old thinks they can do everything and most things they can actually do if you as a parent only have patience enough to let her try. Like putting clothes on, outwear and shoes. An also you need lots and lot of social participation at this age. This is what will get you through the day. So lots of chores to do, laundry, cooking, setting table, dishes and so on, feeding pets, clean the bathroom or bathtub. Let her do it for a long time and say (you need to do a little more here, and a little more there) it is at this age they start with the ACTIVE social participation, where as it most likely have been passive social participation. She can cut the food and vegetables, cook and fry. Just be careful. Give her a chore!
So please try a bit more patience to let her try alone, come back and help minimally. (the biggest regret I have from my son being 2 is that I didn’t let him learn how to dress himself) Try working proactively and see when these situations start. Perhaps you can break it up with an OH! I see you are very angry at the moment, I will get back to you in a minute. Or say, before she throws a fit, Let start cooking, do you want the vegetables or the sausage.
Preparation, like. In 5 min we are going home. In 4 min we are going home. In 3 min, we are going home. In 2 min we are going home. In 1 min, we are going home. Or role play before you get somewhere. Like when grandma comes what do we do? What would you like to do? I think I will hug her, what do you want? Do you want to show her anything?
Also I can’t find the word for it in the book but translated from Swedish it is called “pact” with the child. Let say that the shoes are tricky. You can pact with her and say, silly shoes, just won’t come on like they should. What do we do?! Lets try mammas shoes
![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon/wink.gif)
Humor and fun, put the shoes on the head, be silly. Then try again with the difficult thing to do. We get along with humor in this family.
Regarding the nap, we have CD story for a long time that my son got to listen to and fell asleep to. Do you still need to work in her room while she naps? Can you have the nap room PITCH black? I had to have the nap in a pitch dark room and with the CD story on the last years. That worked for us. Sometimes the nap was only 45 min and sometimes the whole 1,5 hours.
Do you have some more to work with?