Our 20 mnth old girl started to freak out at night! Help!

[hanna-raori]

Last night, around 22.30, Elsa woke up crying. She called "mammmmma" but it didn't sound like her usual nightmare, and she's been sleeping fine for a while now, so we didn't do anything. 5 min passed and her was building up!

I went in, she fell quiet into position, I sun feathered quickly until calm and left w rhyme. I was very confident, calm, nothing was wrong, - but this time it didn't work. She got really upset! I thought: ok, Now I've taken actions, I've been in once, told her all is fine-sleep, NOW it's time to let her react of she needs to. I closed our door to try to sleep. She was moaning a little, but seemed to fall back to sleep too. And then: OAhhhhh!!!! Maaaaammmma!!!

Why did it work last week and not now? Did I go in too late? I gave her time to build up before reacting, but she's ok
now! Should I've considered this as a nightmare and gone in to give her my
usual kiss, put her back down and silence.... ?

This nightmare continued until 1!!! I listened to her and reacted accordingly. I took notes, looked at the clock, re-read this thread, rhymed, confirmed- did what I thought would calm her down at this point. AND I WAS RELAXED confident in her, but I didn't reach her.

I'm so sorry- I feel embarressed to write here after all my forum space, but I'm highly pregnant, tired, I couldn't take it... I picked her up in
the end. And NOW I'm scared! I destroyed it. We slept together in the madrass in her room.

What should I have done?

[Luvisen]

Don't feel embarassed Hanna.

I can't tell u why your daughter reacted that way but maybe tonight everything will go back to normal? I think u should at least have that outlook.

Hugs/Luvisen

[hanna-raori]

Just wanted to say that everything is FINE!!! Not a peep for days now, our attitude has changed and so has Elsa's nights... I guess it was just her last cigarette...

I think it will stay like this now

[Luvisen]

I guess it was just her last cigarette...

I had to laugh , it sounds so funny!

Way to go Hanna! :thumbsup:

/Luvisen

[hanna-raori]

Well, now things have changed a little...

Elsa goes to bed fine but wakes up at night. No crying, no calling out, just up. She crawls out of bed and slooooowly walks towards our room, peaks in, then cautiously enters and step by step inches her way to our bed. All in silence, as if not to wake us up.

When we put her back in bed, then starts the protesting, eventually turning into crying, then exhaustion.

We've tried everything from the "stool" trick to the being angry (i know, we shouldn't and won't again but the only that worked until now was to sleep with her in her bed (actually the guest bed that's in her room). Not a very convincing solution, is it?

Yesterday night. I tried something different: I took her up in our bed and explained to her that she could fall asleep there but that i would bring her back to her bed as soon as she was asleep. She replied "D'accord!" (french for "ok"), crept in, fell asleep in no time and didn't wake up again. I did bring her back to her bed as promised and slept until morning.

So what do you think? Is that ok? I mean I guess the new brother and the diminished attention she obviously gets from us can be quite upsetting for her, and I figured that if she needed a bit of tenderness when she wakes up at night, well, we might as well give it to her, right? Or am I totally wrong and am I shooting myself in the foot?

Let us know what you think please.

Cheers
max/dad

[Luvisen]

Sounds like you're shooting yourself in the foot....

Find a way to give her attention during the day by including her in all that you can. That's what I would do. I guess like everything else it takes practice and a lots of multitasking ability.

After all the work you need to do to take care of the newborn together she should be quite nackered I would say... Once in awhile I guess you should also let the little one wait so you can give her your total attention for just a little while so she feels that you haven't forgotten about her and that she is absolutely everybit as important to you...

Lots of love to your whole family! I know you had it tough and that you've done such wonderful work so far! Hugs!/Luvisen