2 boys (2,5 + 4,5 yr), and toilet during night

[LoneO]

2 boys (2,5 + 4,5 yr), and toilet during night

Hi

we soon want to start the sleep cure for our 2 boys. There are still some questions.

We would start with 2,5 year old Jos. He is now sleeping with mummy, and we want him to start sleeping in his own room, and to sleep enough (currently from 20-6:30, plus 1 hr at noon).
As soon as that is done, we want to lead 4,5 year old Tim to more sleep, currently sleeping 19:30 - 6:00. He normally comes to mummys bed around midnight, and / or to daddys bed between 3 and 5 in the morning.
Both children move around very much and so keep us awake.
That means, for 4 years, there has not been one good night for any of us.

We want both to sleep from 19 to 7 in their own beds, plus Jos 1 hour at noon. The cure for Jos shall start at 23.12 because then, we have the 4 days we need. Maybe not the ideal date, but that is what is possible.
Tim's cure shall start asap afterwards.
We plan to do the cure for one after the other because we fear struggle which we would not be able to manage with both boys at once.

Questions:
- what, if, beginning the cure, Jos hears his brother talking or whatever when he shall start sleeping ? Normally, he would startup again. Is it better to have Tim (and mummy?) sleeping outside, at grandma's etc ?
- Tim, sometimes, wets the bed. If we bring him to toilet around midnight, this does not happen. How can we deal with this in the cure and after ?
- As the move a lot in the night, they are mostly uncovered. For that reason, they wear a pyjama, underwear, socks etc. You recommend to dress not more than a t-shirt and a diaper (maybe pyjama). Daddy would try that, mummy would not. What to do ?
- Both boys are rather good in comprehension. Can it be useful to prepare them explaining what we want to do ? Or maybe asking for their cooperation ?

Thank you for your answer.
Roland

[TorsMamma]

HI Roland and welcome.

I will try to answer your questions.

When they are this big you need to prepare them for WHAT is going to happen and explain that mommy and daddy is in control and they shouldn’t worry. Don’t ask them for cooperation or approval, this is for you to give to them. Total confidence and calm assertive ways. You answer their questions.

The small child Jos needs to keep his crib and sleep in that until he is about 3.5-4 years old. You can at midnight take him up and go to the toilet if he is sleeping, fine. But he should not have to scream to be taken to the toilet and you start going to the toilet 5 times/night.

Are they going to share room? If so you will need some kind of divider/screen in the room so they can’t see each other. Also the room needs to be pitch black. So make sure no daylight comes in, even during the summer.

So when will you have night for the boys? My son who is 5 still has night 19.30-7.30 it takes him about 1 hour to settle down and go to sleep. (even if I put him to bed earlier) He talks a bit for himself and then sleeps. He has the door open about 10 cm with a small light from the stairs shining in.

You Explain to Tim that mommy and daddy has control of the situation and Jos will be jingled if he has any questions. Yes if mom and Tim can sleep anywhere else the first few nights that is great.

Regarding clothes. My son has about 15 Celcius in his room and a regular pyjamas with long sleeves and long legs. No socks. He was taught to put his cover on by himself from 1.5 years. They can do this, especially if he still has a crib. Don’t over dress nor under dress them.

Keep asking so you will KNOW what the answers are when standing there in the middle of the night. Read the cheatsheet again.

Good Luck!