Questions for a soon 16month old beginner

[maguelonne]

Hello,

First of all, I'm so happy to have found by luck your book on the internet and then to find an alive forum, where real people help us and answer us. Happy also to find that the forum does exist in English, even though I'm French (living in the US) and would love a French translation of the book ! Also, it would be great to have english subtitles on the video if you can...

Let's get started! Théophile is a little guy who will turn 16 months on Friday. He is still breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping from 8pm to 8am and awaking every hour and half at night. He is taking his naps in the stroller with me, but they are very inconsistents (can take between 5 to 45mn to fall asleep, can last for 20mn to 1,5hours, can last when I stop the walking or absolutely not...). With his nanny (3 days a week) and his little friend (10months old), they are taking naps in the babyjorn bouncer or in the stroller, walking, but there it is much more consistent. With both of us, he has 1 or 2 naps per day, without any logic (when he is tired, he doesn't sleep at all- when he is more rested he takes 2 great naps!). I used to carry him a lot in a baby carrier (ergo baby), now I do it only when it is more appropriate to my errands.

From the beginning, he falls asleep on my breasts. But every time I put him in his cot, he startled and I had to start the whole thing again. That's how we started the co-sleeping thing. At 6 month old, we tried to put him in his room, in his bed, staying close to his bed in silence. But he was crying all the time until we pick him up. Then, he knew how to stand, and even before awaking he was standing and screaming. Finally, with visitors and all the crying, we took him back in our bed... it should have been temporary, it's been 9months now!

Now we are so exhausted, the house is a mess and we never enjoy a regular evening, finishing our meal together. Social life is not an option on the evenings, so it is for lunch, which always put his pseudo schedule down. This is the other point, is that I'm very bad with schedule and I understand now that it not good for the 3 of us!

The good point is that 9 months ago, each time we got close to his bed, even to change his diaper, he was scared. Now he points it to play in it. So I managed to make it a happy/ funny place again and I'm glad that your cure conveys a happy good night and a happy morning!

WE ARE DETERMINED TO SUCCEED WITH YOUR CURE!
We have both read your book. We'd like to start on wednesday night may 26. But I still have questions, I want to be sure I understood everything correctly:

1- What do you think of this schedule?

8:00pm bed
7:30am Happy Good morning + breast milk (15mn)
7:45-8:15 Breakfast (porridge)
11:30-12 Lunch (solid)
12:30-2:30 Nap (2hours)
3:00 Snack (solid)
6:30-7:00 Diner (solid)
7:00-8:00 Bath, breastfeeding, prayer, big laugh
8:00pm Bed, curtains + lights down

2- What if he needs 2 naps? I shall put the first one for 20mn at 11:30am and the second one at 2:30 for 1,5hour?

3- He is eating well already. With me, he would breastfeed now and then for 5-10mn and go back to his games. I don't plan on stopping right now. Will it be a problem if he breastfeeds in addition to what is written in the schedule? But not at night, this is understood !

4- My husband may take the first 2 nights, so that I'll be in good disposition for the days and to follow the schedule to the letter! I have a problem for the following week as I work 2 days a week. I will postpone those days at the latest but I still have to work. Do you think it would be ok if I give my nanny the instructions to follow the schedule to the letter and the process the more similarly possible? I imagine, may be I'm wrong, that if someelse take care of the baby, it's ok for him to have a different process, as long as when he'll come back home the baby finds back his habits and then, his other habits at the other care giver's?

5- We'll try the tummy position but I'm afraid it is too late for him now. In case he accepts it, how will I do in the stroller? It is not perfectly flat so it must not be confortable? How do you put the belts on?

6- For the first night, with the corrective position, I am concerned by the fact that Théophile stands up in seconds (even when he is still asleep) and that he won't accept to stay on his stomach nor on his back. In this case, we have to correct his position once again only but that's it for the 1st night? If yes, we let him standing and leave the room when he'll be quiet? But I'm afraid that in this position, he will only cry and cry and cry and I know it's not what you want, neither do I. So what should we do? I guess force a position until relax, then leave + jingle? This can be hard on the parent's back, to force for more than 45mn (that I'm pretty sure of by the previous experience) whereas the mattress is very low and the barrier very high.

7- the jingle can be apparently sang. But this is very hard to adapt to the different intonations and volume needed?
I really don't know what jingle to choose. I guess it is better in French (my husband is french too) but we don't have many nice little and rythmic words. Also, should it means something like "good night, good dreams"? Should it convey a security message "I keep the wolf at bay..."? I feel strange that it is what we want the child to understand but without saying it in words, ever?

8- I have a problem with my password, can someone help me with it in english... I'm sorry.

Tonight we are reviewing and trying on us the techniques...

Thank you again for the book and for the forum!
Maggie

[TorsMamma]

Hi and welcome to our forum!


See my answers in “red” below.

1- What do you think of this schedule?

8:00pm bed
7:30am Happy Good morning + breast milk (15mn)
7:45-8:15 Breakfast (porridge)
11:30-12 Lunch (solid)
12:30-2:30 Nap (2hours)
3:00 Snack (solid)
6:30-7:00 Diner (solid)
7:00-8:00 Bath, breastfeeding, prayer, big laugh
8:00pm Bed, curtains + lights down

I think you have about 30 minutes too much time. Can’t you have the nap 1,5 hours instead. I promise he will adjust to the new times within 2 weeks.

2- What if he needs 2 naps? I shall put the first one for 20mn at 11:30am and the second one at 2:30 for 1,5hour?

Give the schedule a chance before you evaluate. At least 2 weeks before making any changes. If he after this still needs 2 naps give him a 5 min (exactly 5 min) in the morning if needed.

3- He is eating well already. With me, he would breastfeed now and then for 5-10mn and go back to his games. I don't plan on stopping right now. Will it be a problem if he breastfeeds in addition to what is written in the schedule? But not at night, this is understood !

I don’t see a problem with breast feeding however I would recommend you to breastfeed in conjunction with the meals all within 30 min. This so that he won’t lose his appetite for the next meal.

4- My husband may take the first 2 nights, so that I'll be in good disposition for the days and to follow the schedule to the letter! I have a problem for the following week as I work 2 days a week. I will postpone those days at the latest but I still have to work. Do you think it would be ok if I give my nanny the instructions to follow the schedule to the letter and the process the more similarly possible? I imagine, may be I'm wrong, that if someelse take care of the baby, it's ok for him to have a different process, as long as when he'll come back home the baby finds back his habits and then, his other habits at the other care giver's?

I would be very careful in doing this in the beginning of the cure. If the nanny can follow the schedule down to the letter (no activities the first 2-3 weeks) and have a jingle of her own I believe it could work but if she has different routines you will spend all week trying to correct everything just to have it ruined by the next 2 working days. In a short while he will be able to see the difference but please try to give him som stability in the first few weeks at least.

5- We'll try the tummy position but I'm afraid it is too late for him now. In case he accepts it, how will I do in the stroller? It is not perfectly flat so it must not be confortable? How do you put the belts on?

When they are this big they sleep however they want, but the tools (sun feather) is still done on their back or side (I would prefer if I was you)

6- For the first night, with the corrective position, I am concerned by the fact that Théophile stands up in seconds (even when he is still asleep) and that he won't accept to stay on his stomach nor on his back. In this case, we have to correct his position once again only but that's it for the 1st night? If yes, we let him standing and leave the room when he'll be quiet? But I'm afraid that in this position, he will only cry and cry and cry and I know it's not what you want, neither do I. So what should we do? I guess force a position until relax, then leave + jingle? This can be hard on the parent's back, to force for more than 45mn (that I'm pretty sure of by the previous experience) whereas the mattress is very low and the barrier very high.

I would the first night lay him down use the sun feather and HOLD IT until child is relaxed and leave with the jingle (always says on your way out of the room never in the room)
If he then stands up, go in and put him down leave with the jingle. Do this all night if needed and a bit into night 2. After this I would wait and start listening to HOW he sounds. When he asks for help THEN you lay him down and calm with the sun feather. With this big children it can take some time so you will have to have patience and determination.

7- the jingle can be apparently sang. But this is very hard to adapt to the different intonations and volume needed?
I really don't know what jingle to choose. I guess it is better in French (my husband is french too) but we don't have many nice little and rythmic words. Also, should it means something like "good night, good dreams"? Should it convey a security message "I keep the wolf at bay..."? I feel strange that it is what we want the child to understand but without saying it in words, ever?

Most people don’t sing the jingle. So you SAY the jingle X4 always at least minimum of X4 or as many as X50 if needed. The jingle should have a rhythm you can stomp you foot to. Saying good night good dreams no problem just not the child’s name or anything like that. If you have the word “night” you will need a jingle for the “day” without the word night. You can also have sleep tight don’t let the bed bugs bite and so on. Just use words you like. Preferably in French if this is the preferred language. It is not the words you use for the jingle it is the TONE OF VOICE and HOW you use it that will do all the difference.

8- I have a problem with my password, can someone help me with it in english... I'm sorry.

You can e-mail me at likn@hotmail.com and I will try to assist you in this matter.

Also I wish to say a few things on your way.

The answers are from MY experience and how I would do it. Someone else might give you different answers and you might decide to do things differently. This is up to you, I can only answer from my perspective and I like you is just a regular mom doing this on my own spare time. All of us are helping each other for free and that is what this forum is all about.

Also from my experience children over 1 year take a bit longer to cure than children under 1 year. Count the double time than the 3+7 days. So give it 6+14 days before you evaluate if things are better. Bigger child more questions you know.

[Luvisen]

Just wanted to say hi. Hi! .

I am glad you found the forum! Been waiting for the english-forum to come alive

Wish you the very best with The Cure ! /Luvisen

[maguelonne]

Hi TorsMama and Luvisen,

Thank you so much for replying so so quick. It's wonderful to see that someone is actually there! And I know that you are busy mummies giving out from your "free" time, so double thank you!

I changed our schedule to 2 naps. It seems more logical to reduce it to 5mn or to totally give it up later, after minimum 2 weeks, if needed. Also, it will be easier for my nanny to follow as she also takes care of a 10 month old baby who needs 2 naps.

But you told me that there are 30mn too much in my schedule, but it is what Anna advises in her book, 13,5h for a 12 months +++.

Here is the new schedule:
8.00pm Bed
7.30am Good morning (11.30 sleep) + Breasfeeding
8.00-8.30 Breakfast (porridge)
10.30 Nap (20mn)
11.30-12.00 Lunch (solid)
1.30.00-3.00pm Nap (1.30)
3.00 Snack (solid)
6.30 Diner (solid), bath, laugh
8.00 Bed
Total sleep 13.20

We worked yesterday on our buffing, fanning, jingling... Quite fun! When you say "Sun Feather", does it mean Fanning?

I read at the end of the book that for older babies, and that what you seemed to tell me yesterday, buffing might be not necessary? I think, we'll give it a try, because Theophile moves a lot and fast, this might help him to settle down, well... if he likes...

We'd like him to take his naps in the stroller with the techniques given by Anna (not walking around). Like that he will have the same process with us, the nanny and in trips. But... compare to the videos:
- our stroller doesn't move that well. It doesn't have this kind of bouncing/ spring movements up-down,only the horizontal movements, which are less strong and less snoozing...
- I can put the baby facing me or facing the road (for him not to see me), but in both case, it is really hard to fan him after each nudge. Is it necessary?
- The stroller at the nanny's doesn't lie down, is it a problem?
- I'll try on the stomach, but... I'm not sure of the confort for him and at the nanny's it won't be possible
- Hope I don't have to change the stroller....

Everything is getting settled for the big night, tonight. I'll let you know tomorrow how it went for both my men!

Thanks again,
Maggie

[maguelonne]

Gooood Morning! (or afternoon!)

The first night is off now and it went much much better than I would have thought! I am so relieved and so grateful to all of you and especially to Anna to have come up with this cure!

So Théophile was in bed at 8.15pm (I still need to work on my organization, I didn't count the time to warm foods and so on...). He had had a good 30mn playing before and big big laughs (quite on the edge though he was so tired/excited, it was really time to do the cure). I said bye and his father took his friendly and firm role. Théophile cried for the 1st buffing and he was quite difficult to put down (he has become so agile by now, he stands without holding the bed barriers) but Pierre managed to calm him in 10mn or so. When he left, T. cried a lot => 2nd buffing, he went down pretty quickly and calmed down. 6 buffings later and about 30 jinglex4, confirmation and T. was asleep at 9h15. Just within 1 hour!!!
He did cry, but it wasn't like crazy like I imagined ( like he did in our previous methods). He cryed angrily at the beginning and then less stronger and I saw that a conversation was emerging... I can't explain. I don't know how my husband did that! I hope I'll be as good as him tomorrow!

Finally, he woke up 5 times, not too bad (he used to woke up every hour!).
- 10h14, 2 buffings, 5 jingle x4, asleep at 10h25!!
- 11h15, 1 buffing, 3 jingle x4, asleep at 11h20!
- 1h00, 1 buffing, 2 jingle X4, asleep at 1h03!
- 3h05, 2 buffings, 6 jingleX4, play and babble, fall asleep by himself!!!! 3h55
- 7h21, 1 buffing, 2 jingleX4, babble, Good morning 7h30 SMILING!!! Confused to see both of us and so happy too!!

I forgot to mention: as soon as his father left the room the 1st time, Theophile pooped (he never do that at this time! I think it is the crying). So he changed him in his bed, but he did switch on the light. I told him not to next time. But he did very good overall I think! And Theophile slept on his stomach YOUHOUH!!!

I have two questions for you:
1- tonight, we are not sure how much Pierre should buff? A big one to start and calm down the baby. And then, if the baby cries, regular or smaller ones? And when the baby will wake up in the middle of the night, should Pierre run in and buff immediatly or jingle from outside first and see?

2- Regarding the meal, it is said that they shouldn't last more than 30mn. But Theophile is eating by himself (he wants to otherwise he is cranky and refuses everything) and it takes approx. 45mn...
Also I don't understand what you told me about breastfeeding: should it be within 30mn before-after meals or should it be finished/get started 30mn away from the meals?

My husband thinks that Theophile can be worse after the first few nights... So will see, but by then we are getting more and more confident.

Thank you sooooooooooooo much!
I have to return to my schedule, talk to you soon!
Maggie
PS: I arranged my password. Thanks to the google translation I can go in the other parts of the site and understand... grossly.

[maguelonne]

I'd like to add, to be more precise, that the crying wasn't long each time, just the time to say the jingle several time, to listen a bit, jingle, listen a bit jingle... and buff again. And Theophile was sensitive to the jingle very quick;, so he has never been alone alone with his crying. I'm so happy about that.

First nap in his stroller, in the parents room. Quite lucky that he was yawning, perfect timing! He fussed a little, try to escape from the belt, but I was already doing the movement and the fan, movement fan... He calmed down very quickly. 7mn later I was alreasy doing the confirmation. He fussed again very slowly. Back again with movement and fan. 2mn later he was done. YOUHOUH!

[TorsMamma]

Hi, what a terrific job and beginning you have! Excellent! :thumbsup:

For the second night I would start as night 1 but more and more work with the jingle as the night progresses. The only thing I would be careful with is not to jingle and THEN go in to buff or so. Because when you do that you make the meaning of the jingle = to I’m coming in. So If you Jingle and you still feel like you need to enter the door, you need to wait a little before to make sure the jingle has the last word in the matter.

In regards to the meals, it is ok if he is eating on his own for 45 min and you breastfeed directly after or before, but you don’t wait 15 min or 45 or so, you eat when you eat and you don’t “snack” inbetween.

Great job on the naps!

Good luck tonight.

[maguelonne]

Hello,

So the second night finished in a pretty good way too! For me, it was crazy-nice to have a real night from 11 to 7, it felt like it was just an hour!! And for my husband, it wasn't so bad neither.

Thank you for your advises, it helped us to built our plan and stick to it!

Theophile woke up 4 times only and fall back asleep by himself twice!!

8h: Bed after a big hour play-laugh, he didn't even want to breastfeed!
1 Buffing-fanning, 10 jinglex4 + confirmation
asleep at 8h25 (he was almost asleep at 8h15, did few whines, silence, whines...)

00h20:
0 buffing-fanning, 1 jingle (confirmation?)
asleep 00h22!!

2h50
0 buffing-fanning, 0 jingle nor confirmation
asleep 2h55!!

Same at 4h55

7h15
0 buffing, 5 jingle

7h30 good morning

Questions:
When Theophile woke up in the middle of the night with low and short whines, Pierre didn't know if he had to do the jingle? And later when Theophile was silent again if he had do the confirmation? Pierre stayed silent, was it ok?

But it means that we already merged the jingle and the confirmation?

So tonight, I should buff and fan very little the first time and then never during the night (except crisis)? Instead, if he whines, I listen, jingle and confirm only if necessary? or just do a merged jingle-confirmation?

I'm a little scared for tonight: will I do as well as my husband did? But I have with me the confidence that I gained with the naps, which is a giant one and make me stronger!

We are so happy so far of these smooth but real development!
Thanks,
Maggie

[TorsMamma]

You'll do great! Just think about the "attiude of clearity" .

If it is your turn tonight I would follow your plan as you describe. As this is your first night I would this first night do the confirmation separately (which is always x4) and then tomorrow night combine them. When you do the combined jingle with confirmation you do it like this… Lets say that you have “HURRAY” for a jingle.

You say the jingle X3 and then on the last vers X1 you go down in level and say it in confirmation tone of voice. For instance…

Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurrrraaaaaayyyyy…… If you need to do the jingle X10 you go Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurrrrrraaaaayyyy…. (see the confirmation is still combined)

Good luck tonight. If you still want to breastfeed before bed, I would do it before the laughter for bed.

[maguelonne]

Thank you for your help. All that is logical... but I would have never thought of it anyway!

Why would I need to do a combined jingle with confirmation x10? This would mean that the baby isn't happy, so I should either jingle or go in and do a quick fan for the crisis mode? The combined jingle-confirmation would then come after the silence is back?

before putting him to bed, we bath, play-laugh, prayers, all with daddy if possible, then breastfeed with lullabies, then daddy is back again for the big laugh, bed, curtains and then...the happy good night start. Youhouh!

Questions for the nap: should I do the laughing thing before putting him to bed/stroller? They both worked great today too!! :-({|=

[maguelonne]

Hello,

The 3rd night is behind already, there are some good, some difficulties but overall I'm proud that I did it, Théophile looks more rested, and we all a longer shot of sleep!

He woke up only 3 times :thumbsup:

8 Bed, 1 fanning, 20-25 jinglex4, Asleep 8h33

11h24, 4 jinglex4, asleep 11h27!!

3h08, small whines, fall back asleep alone at 3h12!

6h06, 50 jingleX4, cries, big complaints or small whines.
After jingle he generally calmed down, but after I did the confirmation he started again, even tough it was the 15confirmations, was it right? sometimes I left his questions unanswered, was it good?!
I think that as it was mum, he was more confused & questioned me more.

For tonight, I'll have to do the combined jingle-confirmation... should I do it right after each question or after a question followed by a silence? or after a bunch of questions & silences?

For the nap in the stroller, I'm still doing the fanning. Should I stop it little by little? Yesterday he woke up in the middle of the nap. I run in and move the stroller and fanned, am I supposed to do that? or should I have stayed outside the room and jingle?

Have all a great day and great week end! For us, it should be the first calm and rested week-end for a very very long time!!! Yeah!
Maggie

[TorsMamma]

Hi, I think you are doing a terrific job.

Just as you suspect you need to do less and give your child a bit more confidence. The more confidence you give him the more he will learn to do on his own. So, no more fanning during naptime unless it is “disaster”. Same thing with the nights.
And now it is time to start listening, closely. WHAT is the question? Angry, sad, frustrated and so on… Angry = no jingle, sad = comforting jingle, frustrated = happy confident jingle. Then listen again, create that dialogue that needs to start now. You are on your way, you have the tools and now it is time to stop the “emergency” tooling and start giving the confidence that he can make it and calm down on his own.

So, you give the jingle and then you WALK AWAY from the door. Create house noises Loud once that he can hear (the Safari trip you know). If needed jingle again and so on. Let him know you are there and watching out for his interests.

Please repeat the chapter “Enjoyment” on page 83 of the book to make sure you are on track and have your goals to the secure night sleep.

Also I would introduce an alarm for the early mornings (these can stick with you for quite some time). You get an alarm that you put OUTSIDE the bedroom door. Set it to the time it is to wake up. When the alarm rings go in to the room with the alarm and have him turn it off himself. Show him the alarm the evening before and explain that when the alarm rings it is morning, nothing else!

Also about early waking’s, you had a difficulties in calming him down because he had the idea he was done sleeping. For this you need to keep a few things in mind. First it needs to be PITCH dark in the bedroom. Especially in the morning! Also don’t overuse the tools at this time, it only sends the message that morning has come. So you give an “reminder” jingle that it is still night and try your very best to stay out of the room. Also you combine the jingle at this time. You go down in the tone of your voice when he quiets or listens.

Good luck tonight.

[maguelonne]

Hello,
This is Pierre writing.
First of all, I just wanted to thank you for the time you spend helping us. This is probably also one of the reasons that this cure works so well.

Last night was the fourth night and was probably a bit hectic.
In a nutshell, we did not fan except when we put him to bed, we tried not to jingle when not necessary or when he was angry.
10h40 -> 10h46. Jingled x 1 a couple of times
2h43 -> 2h44 went back to sleep by himself
2h55 -> 3h19. Jingled x 1 a couple of times
5h30 -> 7h30. cried and screamed a lot with some lower plaints. Jingled a lot x4 or x1. Did some combined jingle and the conversation (she starts to see the difference between angry, sad, frustrated). He was angry most of the time, so she couldn't jingle and this was very frustrating for her, not to be able to help him. But she didn't go in the room.

Hi, It's Maggie again!

Questions:
- For me, this morning was a crisis and I should have gone there, for a quick buffing/ fanning. Don't you think?

- How do we know that it is a crisis? I don't hear the difference between crying and being angry. How long after being angry should i go in? I like this cure because it involves no crying, but when do we consider that this is crying, and no more angryness, and that i should stop it?

- i still find the jingle hard to do:
I have to let him "speak", so i don't jingle while he does, i wait for the silence. Then I jingle, but instead of calming him he starts again...

You told me to jingle less... does it mean that I should not answer all his questions? When should i jingle? when should i stay silent?

I find that a Jingle x1or2 are useful to show him my presence but 4 most of the time, make him start again. Should I really do x4 each time i jingle?

- He was almost out of his pyjamas, happylly it is not cold, but i found it hard not to be able to check on him. This might have increase his frustration yesterday!

We are going to re-read the enjoyment part of the book, because he is very excited in the hour before bed but then very tired-almost upset and yesterday he didn't laugh.

We will fix the room today because we still have pb.
-Windows are wide and strangely enough it is impossible to find good solution in this town. I'll try some temporary solution for tonight.
- His crib is very badly oriented because the room is very little and let few good options: while standing, he is positioned exactly in the gap of the door, he can see us and the light in the morning coming from the living room... not good.

We'll try also the alarm tip, its sounds good!

Naps are working with Pierre, good point! But Theophile is very tired/scared today, he is glued to me all time!

Sorry to take so much of your time! I don't know how we will do without it!
Maggie

[maguelonne]

This is Pierre again.
My wife just asked a lot of questions, but we would understand if you cannot answer them all... I guess the most important one is: should we go in when we think it is a crisis, and how long in the cure are we allowed to do so?

Thanks again for your help !!!

[TorsMamma]

Hi,

The “cure” is not a “static recipe” that says exactly to do this and that. You need to adapt it to your own. A few pointers though…

The jingle is ALWAYS x4 never less… I know it is tempting to diminish the jingle but please don’t this is the tools of all tools, you need to make it work for you. You are still answering questions and like I said before, you need to determine WHAT the question is!
In Sweden when someone has a birthday we say, hipp, hipp, Hurray, hurray, hurray, HURRAY!! This is always X4 never less. Neither should the jingle be.
One thing that you describe and which is common is, when you jingle the child gets angrier, this is a good way of knowing you probably just “Overworked” you child and he is angry and this is his privilege. Anna and I say NO CHILD should cry, and this is correct, BUT Angry is not the same as sad, you listen to the difference in the tone of the screaming. If you jingle and the child screams even louder, then you probably need to wait a bit for him to calm down.

The jingle I said when he screams don’t wait for the silence then you give the confirmation and that is not the same. The jingle should calm the child when it is upset.

We have lots of different jingles. Reminder jingle to remind it is morning, regular jingle, confirmation jingle, and so on.. They are all the same words but different tone of voice.

I can’t say when you have a crisis, only you can, when your heart says jingle, do nothing. When your heart says go in, jingle. And when you can’t take it, GO IN. This is just a way of describing it. Anna usually says listen with your head, not your heart, then you will do the right thing. The most important part in this cure is, you always do less and less. But in a speed that is suitable for you AND the child. Don’t get stuck in one tool.

If he screams and calms down on his own, just do house noices to sooth him. This will also let him know you are there.

If I was to take a good guess this was your night of “relapse” as we call it. This means a child is sleeping better and more than they have before and is now getting a bit more strength to ask a bit more difficult questions like, will life be like this now?

It will most likely not be this difficult again.

Now, the early mornings. The fastest and cheapest and easiest way of getting pitch dark is to tape up aluminum foil on the windows. Keep it there for 2-3 weeks before evaluating or taking it down. After this you can figure out a permanent solution for your bedroom.