Change of schedule -how and when? almost 11 months

[Visser]

Hello

It has been more than 2 months since we introduced the cure and we are becoming real humans agan and not sleep deprived zombies Thank you!

Nikolaj is doing very well, even if he most of the time wakes up early.
Normally 10-30 minutes but he is not picked up before morning time.
He is mostly happy and talking to himself but sometimes he is also crying.

For his daily naps he often wakes up after 45 minutes but is jingled or rocked back to sleep in the pram. Sometimes he does not sleep much after that but he is staying till it is time to get up. But it seems like he needs around 1 hour even if it is not a normal sleep period.
So I wonder if it would be a good idea to change the nap durations to a short one and a longer one? Dont think he is ready for only 1 nap yet.

It would be ok if he slept till 6.30 in the mornings but since he is always waking up before schedule I wonder if it will be possible.
Here is his schedule:

6.00 goodmorning
7.00 breakfast
9.00 -10.30 nap
11.00 lunch
13.30 fruit
14.00 -15.30 nap
17.00 dinner
18.00 milk / snack
19.00 goodnight

Looking forward to hearing your reply

Britt

[TorsMamma]

Hi ,

A child 12 months to 2 years need 13,5 hours of sleep/day+night

My son slept 12 hours night and had a morning nap of 20 min or 45 min and a middle of the day nap for 1,5 hours. He's the sleepy kind. We had 2 naps until about 15-16 months.

If you are going to have your child in daycare/Kindergarten i would recommend you to have 12 hours night but if you are staying home 11-11,5 hours are just fine.

perhaps have scheduel with 11,5 hours night and a morning nap of 45 min and a middle of the day nap of 1,5 hours would work for you? You don't need to have morning 6.30 but you can put to bed 18.30 instead.

A small thing is that I think you need to have loonger time between the last nap and night. At least 4-5 hours to sleep good through the night.

My son slept his firtst nap during "morning play" in the bed. And then had the middle of the day nap at 12.30 and we have morning at 07.

What do you think? Make a schedule that suits you!

[Visser]

Hello Torsmamma

It would be great if he can sleep till 6.30.
He will be starting kindergarden beginning of march -so I would like to have his schedule set before then.
So I guess I have to go for the 12 hour night.
Question is do I just change all schedules from day 1 or do I make small changes of 15 min to start with?

[TorsMamma]

Hi,

You do all the changes at once. Start with the morning and do all the naps as schedule says down to the last minute. Hold the schedule with times for 3 days to introduce and 7 days to manifest. After 1-2 weeks you can do some small changes if necessary and also use the "15-minute" flextime.

So go for it!

[Visser]

hi again

Sounds great, think it will work fine:-)

One more question. If we are asked out in the evenings is it just not a good idea to bring the little one - or is there a way to make it work?

Thanks again for your support.

[TorsMamma]

Hi,

I bring my son to many social events. When everything has manifested itself so that your son is confident and predictable, this won’t be a problem. We bring a “travel bed” with us and just do the evening routine where we are and he goes to sleep in a bedroom in the house in his own travel bed that he uses during mornings for morning play. Then just transfer to a car with an extra blanket, and in to the house (don’t turn lights on) and put to bed at home. If the child wakes up, just give the jingle on the way out like everything is as it seems.

As always it is your attitude that will do the trick here. If you act like everything is as it should the child believes you, but if you start asking the child questions you will soon have problem.

[Visser]

Hello again

I have to write to you again because I did not get this change to work at all.
First he got pneumonia, but he actually managed to sleep rather good after the program except for a few nights untill the penicillin worked.
Then he got well again and we started the new schedule with 45 min in the morning nap and 1½ in the afternoon (from 13).
He is waking up all over the place and very difficult to get back to sleep.
When night comes he seems very happy and cheerfull and not really ready for sleep. He reaches for the door when we enter his room for the good night ritual as if he does not want to go to bed yet.
He sometimes lay down ok but starts to scream when we jingle on our way out or scream immediately after beeing put down. First night he screamed for almost 2 hours before sleeping and the others more than 20 minutes only because I saw no other alternative than to buff because he was really unhappy. And even if it is not after the book it has worked very well before if he occasionally was not able to calm down with the other tools. He often wakes up again after 20 min or more and is waking up at 4.30 in the morning and does not go back to sleep.

Please help me once again?
Thanks

Does this mean he was not ready for the change? We have been doing it for almost 2 weeks now.
What should I do? Go back to the old schedule even if it was too late in the afternoon or try to introduce only 1 longer nap after lunch
He will be starting kindergarden next week and I am very frustrated because he seems determent not to sleep according to the new plan.

[Luvisen]

Hey Visser!

First of all: Do not worry.
Second: If I were you I would see if it was possible to postpone the Kindergarden intro to reduce the pressure from you to "get this right". That way you can do a minicure without feeling stress.

Thirdly: Your child is ready. Don't think about that. Your description of how your son reacts sound to me like the two of you are unsure about the whole deal. Do you understand what I mean? For me it took 7 weeks before the schedule worked really well. Now after 8 weeks we are ready to try to go away for a weekend with our baby. That everything seems to go bad with the cure/schedule can happen when you get frustrated or stressed or just feeling bad when your child cries. I have that experience.
I must ask you, is your boy happy during the day?
And how do you feel when he cries?
How do you guys feel when you go to the babys crib?

All the best// Luvisen

[Visser]

Hello again
Now we have managed one more pneumonaia attack and he is sleeping through the night again -thank god. But he is complaining a lot about going to sleep at one o´clock. He should be taking 1.5 hours then and his morning nap is from 9 till 9.45 and it works pretty well.

I am a bit confused, because in Annas book he should only have 1 midday nap at 1 years wich he will be next week. When should that change?

He did start kindergarten -I could not postpone due to my worksituation.
And you have good points - I hate it when he cries but he is going to if I am to keep up the schedule. I put on the confident attitude. He is quiet happy during the day and we have several laughs, even if he was very unhappy during all his sickness.

So what should I do about the 2 nap?

[Luvisen]

Hello again !

Nice to hear from u !
First off: Congratulations to managing another sickness period- those are never fun AND more importantly getting back on track with a 12 hrs night! Wonderful! Also you say your baby is quite happy and you have several laughs. Excellent! :thumbsup:

So, you couldn't postpone kindergarden- well. you did the best you could

You say he complains alot at his 13 o'clock nap. That tells me he is ripe for his last change of schedule. Keep 12 hrs a night and remove the 45 min nap (9-9.45). That way he will get his 13 hrs and 30 min need of sleep met.
Now, he did complain at 13 o'clock but he does not know what is best for him- you do, right? So the afternoon nap is a classic. After half a day of fun, little people need a rest. So it is the very best option. I would go for that.

You wright:
"I hate it when he cries but he is going to if I am to keep up the schedule"
You need to try and find a way not to "hate" when he cries. Manage your own feelings so that you remain neutral and attentive.
If you let your own feelings through - it hinders you from "hearing" what he is tryng to say. Then what you might do is react instead of act.
Also " but he is going to if I am to keep up the schedule" says to me you also have negative expectations. It might happen, BUT it doesn't NEED to happen. You follow?

You also wright " I put on the confident attitude ". I don't think you need "put" anything on. What you need is to get balanced yourself so you get CALM AND ASSERTIVE. Let me explain:
If I where to shout at you that I was terrfiied that I would fall of the earth. You wouldn't not really feel so much. You would just tell me that the earth is round, so therefore what I fear could not possibly happen. This you know to be the truth. Same thing with baby. You need to give him that respons. Clear and calm. "There is NOTHING to fear, your mommy is near. I look out for your interests " Which is the very truth, right?

I am eager to follow your journey. Please let me know how you get on!
Stay cool 8)
/Luvisen