Should we introduce stomach sleeping together with the Cure?

[Krystian]

Dear All,

Our Son Stas is 5 months old. He doesn't like to lay on his stomach since the begging. We obviously followed the way which is always put your baby on the back.

Stas used to wake up 2-3 times in the night, but know since new year things got escalated and he is waking up 7-10 times in the night and some times it is very hard to make him sleep.

We know we did all things wrong - taking him out of his bed, use pacifier and so on.

No we are desperate to change things and we found out about the Cure from our German friends whose son is just 4 hours younger than ours and allready took the Cure 3 weeks ago and is sleeping 11,5 hours a night. we want to start the Cure after the weekend but we still have few questions:

1. Should we introduce stomach sleeping together with the Cure and if yes how? Stas never sleeps on his stomach and is crying if we put him in this way for sleeping. We put him everyday on his stomach for some play-time, but still as soon as he gets tired he wants to get back on his back. When we tried to put him to sleep on his stomach he screamed his head off.

2. How to do buffing, fanning, rocking? Is there a video showing how to do that, especially that we read the book in English and we are from Poland and doesn't have clear idea how to do it. And how to buff and fann when the baby sleeps on the back?

3. Our baby recently doesn't accept food from the bottle. Till 4th month Stas was only breastfed and than we have introduced bottle with Mom's and modified milk and he was drinking it happily when breast was not enough. On the end of 2009 Stas got ear infection and since then everything got bad. He stopped sleeping well even the infection is over and he wants only to be breastfed (he accept some rice mash from the spoon). He doesn't even want to suck the bottle even with his Moms milk. What should we do?

We still are finishing the book, but she be done with reading for tomorrow.

Please help us, we are tired and need to help Stas and ourselves. We want to do the Cure right and have no hesitation how to do it.

Best Greetings,

Krystian and Gosia

[TorsMamma]

Hi Krystian and Gosia and welcome to our forum.

If you go to “profile/signature” and write the date of your son’s birth it would help out tremendously. Please write in the format 17 Jan – 2010 so we can be specific in our answers to you.

Great you decided to do the cure! However before you even start doing it you really need to get more FOOD in to this child’s stomach. The food in your case is going to be the key I believe. If you wish to breast feed that is fine. Either you do it straight after every meal OR you do it “instead” of a meal. For instance you breast feed breakfast, snack in the afternoon and the last meal before the night.

How is your thought up schedule? You need 15 hours of sleep/day.

Now to your questions.

1. The cure is possible to do on both the back and the side, however we recommend doing it on the stomach since this is the way the tools work the best and most children sleep the best. We have many parents who have tried the cure on the back but many of them redo the cure to introduce the stomach passion.
When you introduce the stomach position it the same as everything else, with an attitude of total clarity. Put the child on its stomach and start “bottom patting” This will reassure the child that everything is the way it should. The child will be satisfied with these answers and by the first night the stomach position will be as ordinary as lying on their back. I do want to point out the use of an apnea alarm!
2. I provide you with a link to all the tools at the bottom. Please make sure to practice on each other FIRST and NOT the child!
3. It’s not necessarily the bottle that will make him full of food and satisfied. But also the FOOD you give him during the day. Purees and avocado, banana, fruit like pear and so on. So make sure he gets lots of REAL food. Some (here in Sweden) we give oatmeal or porridge for breakfast and sometimes dinner. So when my child was 5 months he had 2 meals of oatmeal and 2 meals of food with lots of fruit. Especially pear and not apple since this as a tendency to make the stomach a bit tough.

Here are some links for you!

Cheat sheet
http://www.annawahlgren.com/index.php/v ... heat-sheet

Tools on video
http://www.annawahlgren.com/index.php/v ... lmer-start

Remember, reading the book over and over is the key here. Look up any words you don’t understand, all so that you can really answer your childs all questions.

Good luck and keep posting any questions you might have in this same thread.

[Krystian]

Dear TorsMamma,

For the beginning thank you for prompt replay last week.

We have followed your advice and postponed the Cure for the coming week to prepare ourselves better for it.

First thing we have started to put as much food as we could into Stas in regular intervals. His eating rice mash with formula, breast milk, and food from jars. Bottle is back on track.

We have prepared following schedule:

20:00 - 8:00 night

8:00 wake up and food

9:30 - 10:15 nap in the crib

11:00 food

12:00 - 13:30 nap outside in the carriage

14:00 food

16:00 - 16:45pm nap in the crib

17:00 food

19:00 - bath & fun

19:30 food and laugh

20:00 sleep

We bought apnea alarm. But the only doubts I have about the Cure is if we should really introduce stomach sleeping. He never liked in particular to lay on his stomach. We have put him regulary on the stomach during the day and he learned though out a long time to lay and play on his stomach, but he is not able to lay more than approx 20 minutes. I am worried that even with master technique in buffing I will not be able to make him calm down if we put him on the tummy.

Now other questions before we start:

1. Is the schedule ok? Should we change something about the last food at 19:30 its not one hour after the previous one.

2. Should the room be darkened during the day naps?

3. Does the jingle stays forever after the Cure as the night goodbye?

4. What about travels after the Cure. We like to travel and understand that we should keep to the schedule, but what if we need to travel by car for 10 hours, for example. Babies usually sleep in the car almost all the time and only wake for eating. Will such a long journey destroy the system or we need only to follow eating times and after we arrive, follow the schedule?

5. We read that during the Cure it is good to have music in the background in the leaving room for example. Should it stay on for the whole night or only first few hours? Or to put it that way should we not keep silence in the night hours for example at 1:00am?

6. Can we do nap at 12:00 outdoor on the back when all other sleeping will be on the tummy? It is winter and will not be easy for Stas in all his cloths to lay in the carridge on the stomach.

7. We understand from the book that we do buffing when Stas is only covered with a thin blanket. I understand that we cover him with the duvet after 10 minutes of his sleep?

8. Why we have to buff the baby, can we not simply fan him until he calms down?

9. on the film when the adult is entering the room or jingling form outside there is complete darkness in the hall outside the room. Should it be like that through the Cure nights?

Stas is now about 74 cm long and weight 8,1 kg.

I think it is all for today .

Thank you for your help.

Best Greetings,

Krystian and Gosia

[Krystian]

wish us luck!

[TorsMamma]

We bought apnea alarm. But the only doubts I have about the Cure is if we should really introduce stomach sleeping. He never liked in particular to lay on his stomach. We have put him regulary on the stomach during the day and he learned though out a long time to lay and play on his stomach, but he is not able to lay more than approx 20 minutes. I am worried that even with master technique in buffing I will not be able to make him calm down if we put him on the tummy.

I promise you when I say, almost everyone who does the cure on their back change do the cure again on their stomach. He will get used to it really fast. If only you send the correct signals.


Now other questions before we start:

1. Is the schedule ok? Should we change something about the last food at 19:30 its not one hour after the previous one.

Schedule looks fine!

2. Should the room be darkened during the day naps?

People do different here. I have the room pitch black even on naps. You choose.

3. Does the jingle stays forever after the Cure as the night goodbye?

Yes, always when putting to bed you use the jingle. (well you may quite when they’re 18)

4. What about travels after the Cure. We like to travel and understand that we should keep to the schedule, but what if we need to travel by car for 10 hours, for example. Babies usually sleep in the car almost all the time and only wake for eating. Will such a long journey destroy the system or we need only to follow eating times and after we arrive, follow the schedule?

I follow the schedule even when cartravveling. Sometimes you can use the “ one time, no time” rule. Just get back on track as soon as you get there. But you’ll see they become their own little schedule if you just keep it.

5. We read that during the Cure it is good to have music in the background in the leaving room for example. Should it stay on for the whole night or only first few hours? Or to put it that way should we not keep silence in the night hours for example at 1:00am?

It’s more the fact that you don’t make things quiet for the child but make sure life goes on with all its noises. When you go to bed turn music off.

6. Can we do nap at 12:00 outdoor on the back when all other sleeping will be on the tummy? It is winter and will not be easy for Stas in all his cloths to lay in the carridge on the stomach.

Only you can be the judge of that. My son could only sleep MAX 45 minutes on his back in a stroller. Most parents put even their 5 month old on their belly in the winter as well. Just have cotton clothes under and LOTS of blankets over and under! No overalls on.

7. We understand from the book that we do buffing when Stas is only covered with a thin blanket. I understand that we cover him with the duvet after 10 minutes of his sleep?

Hmm…. You can buff on top of the duvet as well. It’s more the fact that you have a child with a pyjamas, in a cool room and not too warm with blankets. They don’t need HEAVY duvets to keep them warm. My son sleeps with a silk cover and the room is about 15 degrees celcius.

8. Why we have to buff the baby, can we not simply fan him until he calms down?

Yes you can, what ever calms YOUR child the best!

9. on the film when the adult is entering the room or jingling form outside there is complete darkness in the hall outside the room. Should it be like that through the Cure nights?

Yes, you always jingle on your way out or outside the room, keep pitch dark in the room and dark in the hallway. No sharp lights, if you need guiding light use a RED lamp.

I think it is all for today .

Good luck on the cure tonight, look forward to a nice report in the morning.

[Krystian]

Night 1 was really horrible.

Stas slept in total 6,5 hours of 12. The rest he was screaming, not asking but simply protesting.

Buffing introduction took 40 minutes.

The worst part was between 1:35 till 3:00 constant buffing and jingling. Once he was buffed and I was leaving with the jingel he was screaming again with furry and nothing was stopping him

Finally around 4 oclock he accepted buffing as a way to calm down. Till this hour it was all struggle.

Still I can feel that jingle is making him mad. He hates it at this stage. Once he is quite quickly calmed with buffing when I leave with the jingle it starts all over again.

Stas woke up with completely swallown eyes from crying (especially the left one because he was laying on this one).

He is in quite normal mood, but the night was horrible experience and attitude of supreme confidence is illusion once you have been buffing and jingling with no result for one and a half hour.

I do not know how to start next night... Its so depresing watching him screaming mad and not calming after the jingle but getting worse.

2 night should be with buffing as a last resort as I understand. I hope he will accept jingle as a tool as he finally did with buffing after 8 hours of the night.

If I knew how hard it will be I would never even try. My heart was broken in the morning after I saw stas half concious from tiredness and swallon on the face.

[annawahlgren]

Dear Krystian,

I am sorry, but I have to please ask you to stop what you are doing. You are maltreating the Cure and, which is worse, your child. I do not want you to do that in my name or the name of the GNS. Please stop immediately I am a harsh critic of the Cry-it-out Method. In my world, babies should NOT cry EVER like your son did. Please do not let him

Further on, you might prepare yourself better. I hope so, for the sake of little Stas.

Yours
Anna

[Krystian]

Maybe you could give us any clues. What we suppose to do now?

Should we buy new pacifayer, put Stas on the back again, pick him from the bed every time he cries?

Its not very helpful if you just write: stop it, me and GNS do not want to have anything to do with it.

I read the book, we followed instructions, we are not pediatrists and I did best I could. Now I have no idea what to do. You can understand that we are helpless and have no idea what to do now.

[annawahlgren]

I am sorry. You are not ready. I don't think you even read the book, only perhaps quick parts of it. Obviously, you did not understand its messages, let alone practice the techniques.

Remember the comparison with driving lessons? For example?

I don't want to be hard to you, but mind you - the GNS cure is MY little baby and must NOT be maltreated.

Good Luck O:)

[TorsMamma]

Maybe you could give us any clues. What we suppose to do now?

Should we buy new pacifayer, put Stas on the back again, pick him from the bed every time he cries?

Its not very helpful if you just write: stop it, me and GNS do not want to have anything to do with it.

I read the book, we followed instructions, we are not pediatrists and I did best I could. Now I have no idea what to do. You can understand that we are helpless and have no idea what to do now.

Hi,

If I was to take a guess I would say.

You didn’t practice the buffing on each other FIRST to make sure you had the proper technique. The buffing should calm the child down fairly quickly, never longer than 20 minutes or so. Sure you might have to run in and out quite a few times, but the child should be CALM and relaxed before you leave the room with the jingle. The first night you use the buffing and normally NO child listens to the Jingle the first night. That’s what night 2 is fore. You start the dialogue.

Please read the book again and make sure you have the tools practiced and the you truly KNOW how to use the jingle. Read about the jingle again.

No one, especially Anna likes to get a report that a child cried so much that their eyes where swollen shut. This is very sad even for us to hear, but for Anna this is to mistreat her cure. Sure they might not sleep very much the first night and you might run in and out like crazy, but they shouldn’t cry swollen. However it is allowed to REACT, have a response, get angry or make dissatisfied noise. But crying, NO. Truly sad children needs to be calmed right away using the tools correctly and even the jingle will in the end calm a sad child.

[nonyvs]

Hi!
I have been reading your post and I was thinking a few things about what you wrote (I have no experience and I am here trying to learn everyday with my daughter, but maybe it helps you, so here it goes)

Well, my daughter is 4 months now, and she has been always sleeping on the back. If we try to put her in the stomach to play, she becomes irritated after a while, so though be have been thinking that she would sleep better on the stomach,(and I am jelous when I see the videos and the baby is sleeping so nice on his tummy) we have not taken the risk, since we are not so confident in that way!
I don´t know, but she becomes really upset, so I could not imagine to try to put her to sleep like that the whole night. I would maybe put her before to have some of the day naps in this position to make her be a bit in use, or be sure that I know how to make her calm if it happens that she is so upset. it must have been horrible for both of you that experience!

However, like Anna has been answering to me and I always have difficulties to remember , for my daughter, the most important part is the FOOD. No matter how much I would try to make her calm, if she has not been eating good during the day, it will be almost imposible that she sleeps (and good for her is always a little more that what I think that is enough).

We are reading again and again For the love of children, and we have been just copying a part that is called "a day with Sophie", with patience, day after day, reading it again and learning something new everytime, day after day, after day, after day, and yesterday, we didn´t wake up to feed her in the middle of the night , and she slept 12 hours, in the back, and without trying!!!!! So, maybe it was because we were trying to focus on the day routine, to make it as perfect as possible, before making the cure...or whatever, I dont know!! but she was difficult before, and the same as your son: after been sick, it was crazy, and almost impossible to sleep, but little by little, being constant, everything has come back to order.

My point is that maybe you dont need to be in a hurry to introduce the cure if it has been crazy days with the ear inflamation and so on, and that maybe you could try the stomach thing little by little.

I repeat that I dont know, I am just telling you what I would do, knowing my baby. Anyway, I hope that it becomes better for all of you soon!

[nonyvs]

and she slept 12 hours, in the back, and without trying!!!!!

"and she slept 12 hours, on the back, and without any rocking."

Sorry for my english!!

[annawahlgren]

Thank you ever so much for your encouraging and loving response