Failed to implement the GNS cure

A parents' forum based on GNS (A Good Night's Sleep)
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Hey,

Just an update.

Our first night was not too bad.

Bed 7.30, took my husband 10 minutes of buffing and fanning and our son fell asleep.

Woke up 8.15, took 40 minutes to get him to sleep.

Next wake up 3am, took 27 min of little bit of buffing and fanning, jingle was repeated and said when left the room.

Next wake up 5.27, that is the wolf hour as he always wakes then. Took over an hour to get him to sleep. Woke himself 7.29, happy and smiling but looked tired.

Biggest achievement for us was that it was the first night without any bottle!!
My husband was firm and calm and stuck to it. I cried in our bedroom hearing our little boy crying :( Im glad my husband took the lead, as I am too weak :) and give up easily
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11193
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi, sounds absolutely PERFECT! If he can continue to do even 1-2 weeks it is great! This will not affect you putting him to bed later, on the contrary, he will then have the routine in his body. I have done this with our child (since my husband is the saboteur) and others do as well. :)

So VERY WELL done and off to a good start. Now work in the jingle tonight! Stick to the schedule to the MINUTE!
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Thank you so much for the reassuring words! I needed it as I doubt in myself a lot and make my husband uncertain :(

Tonight he went to bed 7.30, did not finish his milk but had good dinner (meat, potatoes, veg). Took 10mins and now 3 hrs later he is still sleeping.

But our day naps were a bit of a disaster. I tried to put him into his cot at 10am and tried buffing and he jumped up and cried like mad. He did not fall asleep. I took him out in the pram at 12 and he slept outside 1.5hrs. Had a nap in the car 4.30-4.50pm.

What did I do wrong? Should I just leave him in his cot at 10am and make noise in the room next door and hope he falls asleep?
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Hello,

Another update about last night:

Bed 7.30

Woke up 22.35 took 10 Min to fall asleep

Woke up 1, took 5 Min to fall asleep, fanning and jingle

Woke up 3.25 took 5 Min to fall asleep, fanning and jingle.

3.45 he made sound, jingle outside his room and he settled

Woke up 5.35, took 10 Min to fall asleep.
Woke 7.20, stayed in bed until 7.30

Today I put him to his bed for lunch nap. Unfortunately I had to buff. Fell asleep within 5 minutes. Slept 1,5 hrs :)
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
Tin
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 1153
Blev medlem: fre 12 mar 2010, 09:48
Ort: Nya Zeeland

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av Tin »

Hello,
wow you are doing so well. Well done both parents.
:clapping:

Keep going and keep using weaker and weaker tools jut like you are doing, awesome that the jingle alone works and that you dont need to go into the room.

Read back in your thread and see the progress you have made.

Also, if you do have a night that feels a bit troublesome again, know that that is normal, There is usually one night during the cure where if sort of goes backwards again. Key then is to do everything according to plan and change nothing, just like you are doing now. Trust that it works, you have the proof in your thread here.

hugs Tin :heart:
Lilla O född 2010-02-04 (42+1)
Standardmodellat sedan 13 mars då hon var drygt 4 veckor.

Lilla M född 2012-11-29 (39+0)
SM från början, vad annars ;)
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Thank you so much!

I hope you read this today and can reply, as everything went wrong last night :(

He slept so well from 7.30 to 4am. Once I had to jingle outside the door. At 4 the hell broke loose. He screamed, for whole hour, it got worse and worse. In the end I put on Mozart and he screamed even more. Nothing helped, he was in real state. I made a mistake and took him out, as we both tried and could not settle him by 6am. My husband was angry with me for breaking the”cure” and taking him out but he even agreed that he could not settle him. Finally he fell asleep for 20 minutes and has been awake since! Its now lunch time :( what should we do? Try again tonight as nothing happened?
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
Tin
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 1153
Blev medlem: fre 12 mar 2010, 09:48
Ort: Nya Zeeland

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av Tin »

Hi again,
Remember what I said thermos always that one night where it goes backwards. This is your such night. Nothing to be alarmed about, usually the last hurrah before things settle.

Should you have picked him up. No.
Should you worry about it now. No.
Should you move on strong in a kickass team with your husband. Yes.
Should you have more attitude then ever using the jingle tonight. Yes.
Should you be determined to succeed. Yes.
Will you. Yes.

Ok so move forward, be super strict tonight. Do everything as you have been. IF there is a crisis again use the fanning/buff to calm down. Be prepared to support each other. Then jingle again outside the door as usual.

Have you got this. Yes.

Hugs Tin :heart:
Lilla O född 2010-02-04 (42+1)
Standardmodellat sedan 13 mars då hon var drygt 4 veckor.

Lilla M född 2012-11-29 (39+0)
SM från början, vad annars ;)
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Good morning and thank you for your advice.

Last night he went to bed with 5 min fanning and jingle. Falling asleep has not been a problem since we started.

First wake up at 2am and it took me 40 minutes to settle him. Had to buff, as he was not happy and kept wriggling up in his bed.
Next wake up 4am, fanning and jingle less than 5 mins.
Next wake up 6am, took my husband 40 minutes to get him to sleep.
We are a bit sad that its such a set back and it took us nearly 1.5 hrs in total in the night to settle him.
I am a bit anxious about the situation and have few questions. I hope you can advise.

1. He is still not drinking his evening milk, only had quarter of what he should, as he has never been a baby who drinks his milk in one go. He drinks a bit, plays, goes back to it, then drinks again. I keep offering to him but he does not have it. Before the cure he drank it finally when he was ready for bed. It seems to me that it filled him up and helped to get through the night.
Before we started the cure we had occasional nights when he slept through until morning. But with the cure we have not had a single night without wake up. We are like moving backwards again :(

2. He wants to drink in the night. He cried 2 nights ago and we tried to settle him and he did not stop crying. Finally I offered him his cup (not bottle!) and he drank a lot of water, he was really thirsty. Am I allowed to offer him water or is that wrong and will be classed as soothing tool like a bottle?

3. When could we expect him to reach so far, that we put him to bed, say a jingle and he is happy to fall asleep on his own without fanning or buffing?

4. He is very strong and it requires quite a lot of srength to pin him to the mattress to stop him pushing himself up. Im scared I break his bones like this. Is that how it should be done or am I being too harsh?
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
Tin
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 1153
Blev medlem: fre 12 mar 2010, 09:48
Ort: Nya Zeeland

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av Tin »

Hello there again,
So focus on the positives, it’s important.

Here is the deal IF you want ALL the night to be good and sleeping through, not just occantianally nights then this is the road there. It WILL take work from you parents for a couple of weeks. The result will depend on how well you as parents are doing with the cure. The baby is only responding to your actions.

Figure out if it’s worth going for, if the answer is YES then carry on and leave the doubt behind. The good nights will come.

To your questions:
1. It’s not just the milk in the night who will sustain him over night, it’s the complete food intake during the day. So make sure he eats a lot of food through out the day, not snacking but proper food at mealtimes. Milk milk is still just fluid and won’t sustain you, perhaps a banana before bedtime instead if you think is needed or something else he will eat properly.

2. Is he given water with every meal during the day? If he is he does not need to drink during the night, offer him some with the banana just before bed.
Reflection: so because you gave in and one night picked him up and another night gave him water he is confused at night still. He is not convinced yet that what you should do at night when you wake up is just roll over and carry on sleeping. That is why he cries because he knows eventually one of you will come in and something will happen. If you only response to him at night is the jingle he will understand much faster.

3. It takes at least 4 days a and then a follow up week but it is entirely up to how the cure is executed. Obviously we are all beginners as parents, I’m a mother of two and baby number two was much faster to cure because I was a bit experienced by then and new what didn’t work or what slowed down the process. So keep going, it can be two-three weeks the more times you give i to him crying and doing something that is not jingle/fan/buff the slower it will be.

4. So a fan is a firm pressing down with a hand. It should act like a message as to help him understand that standing up or wiggling around will not make you fall asleep. But is should be with love and a pressing rather then pinning down. If you struggle with it perhaps buffing is better for you since your boy is a bit older.

I have to advice that loosing hope when you have a set back isn’t helping, instead think:
“Ok, he struggles, I’m here, I know what to do, we as a parent team have prepared for this we will NOT let you down. You can trust us, you can sleep.”
You know there will be set backs, it’s a part of their learning process so see it as an opportunity to teach what he should do when he wakes up at night. Sleep. Every set back is a chance to teach him so that the next night he knows what to do. He will not stop waking up at night but he will stop crying for you because she will know that falling back to sleep it what he is supposed to do.

Chin up, put the teaching hat on and carry on. Attitude is everything, if you stay positive this will be much easier.

Hugs Tin :heart:
Lilla O född 2010-02-04 (42+1)
Standardmodellat sedan 13 mars då hon var drygt 4 veckor.

Lilla M född 2012-11-29 (39+0)
SM från början, vad annars ;)
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Thank you, Tin. I needed these words.

I know its about your attitude, but feel so anxious. I know I should feel positive and be sure in myself. Im really trying to get better.

We wont give up, as the alternative is going back to the bottle at night and that is not an option even! My husband is very strict and says giving up is not an option. I just need to get myself together and believe in myself a bit more.
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
Tin
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 1153
Blev medlem: fre 12 mar 2010, 09:48
Ort: Nya Zeeland

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av Tin »

Hi again,
We believe in you. :clapping:
And we are here to help.

Hugs Tin :heart:
Lilla O född 2010-02-04 (42+1)
Standardmodellat sedan 13 mars då hon var drygt 4 veckor.

Lilla M född 2012-11-29 (39+0)
SM från början, vad annars ;)
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Thank you! :)

Last night bed 7.30. First wake up 4.15, needed jingle and light fanning less than 1 minute. Same 5am.

Woke up 6.45, we kept saying to him from our bed in other room the jingle and he was quiet until 7.15, then started to chat in a loud voice.
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11193
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi, :D

See! HE is getting it. I would suggest re-reading the II chapter 2 Security and I the Safari. This to get your attitude back! ;)

Also, by now you should start thinking OUT and not IN, if you get my drift? You don't really want to enter the room anymore, the jingle needs to start doing its job. This is where the magic lies! When you get a dialogue with the jingle. So please re-read the chapters I gave you. Take another look at the cheat sheet. Tin has given you such great advice and my question is already answered. What do you have to fall back on? If nothing, then move forward with the goal in mind. If you don't SEE what result you want, you cant get there.
So keep your goal in front of you, guide your child to better sleep and give him this gift, it is truly remarkable!

You can do this, thousands of parents have made it before you and I have done it on thousands of children. Just keep your goal in mind! :)
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
MaesaarM324
Inlägg: 24
Blev medlem: fre 06 dec 2019, 19:20

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av MaesaarM324 »

Last night 7.30 to bed, first wake up 7am!!! :)
Baby born april 2019, cure started 27 Dec 2019
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11193
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Failed to implement the GNS cure

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

:clapping: :humbup: :jumpgreen: :heart: :clap: :dance:

Now keep it up and don't take the good sleep for granted, it will be questioned once in a while. ;)
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
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