11 months old relapsed while sick

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andrewde
Inlägg: 7
Blev medlem: sön 19 aug 2018, 20:13

11 months old relapsed while sick

Inlägg av andrewde »

Hi all,

I am turning to Anna’s forum as I can’t seem to understand what we are doing wrong with our little boy.

Matti, 11 months, has been cured following GNS 4 months ago. He used to wake up 3-4 times a night.

When Matti occasionally wakes up and cries, with the baby phone handy, we throw a jingle to reassure him. He often sits and takes a sip of water using a sippy cup and then falls back asleep.

Matti has been sick for the last 4 days. He wakes up around 1.00 AM and sleeps intermittently until 6.40ish. I am unsure if the relapse is caused by his sickness or not.

When he cries, we usually do the following in order: we jingle 1 time or more if needed (max 3 or 4 times), we go inside if it worsens, propose him water, buff him (5 sets with 4 taps each set), fan for a few seconds and finally jingle times 4 on our way back.

We repeated the steps above several times per night for the past few days. Without success. Matti keeps crying as soon as we leave the room, he calms down after a few seconds/minutes, then goes on and on until he is yelling his head off.

For the last 2 days, after hours of repeating the process above, we ended up buffing him until he falls asleep (~ 5 AM). I didn't even dare to throw an exit jingle yesterday. I was afraid to wake him up. We never picked him up though.

In the Q&A section "Comforting sick children", Anna says: "You can bend down and hold her. You can give her water, cool her down with a compress and calm her.". To what point should we "bend down and hold her"? A few seconds? minutes?

The mistakes I believe we have made;
  • - Stick around for too long since Matti is sick. Like Anna says, the battle with the wolf needs to be fought outside of the room, not inside. “Every time you get stuck in that proverbial rut and hang around, the wolf sticks his slavering jaws through the door. Then you are the one who is posing the danger to public safety. Think about that!”
  • - I may have overused the jingle. I jingle as soon as Matti starts crying. I believe this irritates him more than reassuring him. Per explained in Anna’s analogy at the restaurant; “Does it taste good? Is the beef too rare? Too well done? Too cold? Too hot?”. I just don’t want to let him escalate his cries to the point where I have to go inside.
  • - Get him to used to be buffed. If we have to inside, we always buff him. I believe we are not supposed to. But what's the point to go inside if you can't buff him? Should we only fan him and get out ASAP?
How can we correct this? Hit the reset button by starting the cure from day 1?

Any recommendations are welcome.

Thanks a lot,
Andrew
TorsMamma
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Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: 11 months old relapsed while sick

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi and welcome :D

Great analysis of what went wrong. :wink:

Så the thing is, the more you do, the more you need to keep doing. You have convinced him that being sick is = to you cannot be alone and it is dangerous to be alone from now on. Re-read the chapter about the Safari. :D

No, what Anna means is, if they have fever and NEED to be handled to do it in the bed. If he is not that sick anymore you need to back off so that he can start to get confidence he can do it again himself.

Also, if you "try" the jingle first and THEN enter the room! The jingle = "hold on, I will soon be with you to buff, give you water and more". So the goal no matter what you choose to do is less time IN the room. THINK OUT! As soon as there is NO crisis DON'T stay! Sometimes when i cure children you can hear them cry and as soon as they hear your footsteps you you touch the door handle they will calm and even lay down with their butt up whiting for you to start. Now if this is the case, the first night just quickly touch like the sunfeather AND leave. Next time, just turn around at the door with the jingle out FULL OF CONFIDENCE that he can work it out. The jingle IS the magic, don't loose it do to him getting angry, you cannot use the tools on an angry child, it is only to calm down so they can sleep on their own.

Don't get frustrated that will not do you good, rather one buff (x4) quick sunfeather and out! Or just sunfeather! If he "likes it" it is TOO much! Only calm down, if he is in crisis you might just sunfeather, but holding it a bit longer then if you where buffing since he will protest a bit. Here all children are different, that is why I seay LISTEN, WHAT is the question. THEN you answer it accordingly. Only you can hear the child and act on that. The cry will differ, you might enter and exit 100 times rather than staying 5 or 10 min to long! Keep the cheat sheet on the door, read it before entering. Take you time, catch your breath. Keep doing less and less every time you use a tool. Give some confidence to the child, he can do it! :heart:
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
andrewde
Inlägg: 7
Blev medlem: sön 19 aug 2018, 20:13

Re: 11 months old relapsed while sick

Inlägg av andrewde »

Thank you very much for the quick answer and for putting things into perspective.
You have convinced him that being sick is = to you cannot be alone and it is dangerous to be alone from now on.
The jingle = "hold on, I will soon be with you to buff, give you water and more".
So the goal no matter what you choose to do is less time IN the room. THINK OUT! As soon as there is NO crisis DON'T stay!
We have been following your guidelines for the past few days. Matti seems to react well so far.
He is now back at sitting in his bed waiting for us to pick him up in the morning.
Same during the night when he wakes up.
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: 11 months old relapsed while sick

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Sounds good! Have faith in him that if you give him the prerequisites he can! :D :heart:
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
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