feel that something is not quite right

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tulik84
Inlägg: 3
Blev medlem: tis 27 sep 2016, 21:40

feel that something is not quite right

Inlägg av tulik84 »

hi,

my son-yuval is almost 8 months and we have started the cure 5 days ago.
already on the second night we got a strait 10 hours sleep- but the mornings were terrible - 3 mornings in a row of endless crying, a jingle dialogue and eventually we waited for a minute where he would stop crying (5-10 min around wake up time as scheduled) and just go in and start the morning fun.
today he finally slept the extra hour and woke up at 7 am ( suppose to be 7:30) and after a jingle was at bad and relaxed until 7:15.
but the morning nap in the stroller was a 45 min disaster crying where no rocking could relax him!!!!! eventually i moved him to his crib-buffed and jingled - finally he fell asleep.
the afternoon 2 hour sleep had a 45 minutes crying in between with 2 rounds of buffing when i felt it got so strong he is not going to relax otherwise and it takes time with the buffing to relax him (1-7min)

i have a few problems where i don't feel that i am doing the right thing:
1. many times he climbs and stands in his crib. he doesn't yet knows how to get down/sit yet so i get in every time and take him down, place him on his belly with a nudge and jingle out. that causes me to go in the room many times and therefor jingle many times. i have tried to figure out if should get in when he is quite or very very upset and i don't know which one works best.
2.in the book anna says they should be given the opportunity to react but they shouldn't feel upset/sad- i feel that it is very hard for me to stop yuval when he starts to go downhill - he cries until he has no voice- i even can't really buff him since he gets so tough and doesn't let me place him on his belly..and starts to turn around and fold his legs.
we are not suppose to be needing the buffing at this point so - what am i doing wrong???i can't relax him otherwise and sometimes it feels this doesn't work the best as well (the previous 3 mornings in a row).

i feel there is too much frenzy crying and i am loosing my confidence. i knew it is going to be tough but on the 4 th day i thought it will relax by now and will sattle down. #-o

any wisdom words?

thank you:)
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11193
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: feel that something is not quite right

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hello and welcome! :D

I need a few things to fill in the gaps. :wink:

What is his schedule? What does he eat?
Activities?

To give you a quick answer about your questions.

1. wait until he is truly sad. When you hear him asking for help. THEN he will stay down when you put him down.
During the day, practice practice practice standing up, sitting down. At least 5min/10 times/day.

2. So the answer to this is I would say his 8-month anxiety development. This is a hard time for small children and there fore the cure can take a bit longer and a bit more reassurance.

So his world is now not the most stable time and your job is to be stable like a rock, show him nothing is wrong and what you are doing is the right and best thing with full attitude of confidence. THEN, he will think so too. :D
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
tulik84
Inlägg: 3
Blev medlem: tis 27 sep 2016, 21:40

Re: feel that something is not quite right

Inlägg av tulik84 »

thank you so much for the quick answer.

it feels weird that the anxiety attacks only at day time (so far) i feel i am doing something wrong, plus it feels like it is a bit to much sleep(i know it must sound very strange to you:)

so that's the schedule:i changed it a little and did take 15 min- 1/2 an hour down from it.

7:00- good morning (although 2 times he woke up at 7:15).
feeding-breastfeed
9:45- breakfast (was at 11:15 before because he use to eat every 3.5-4 hours before we started)
10:15-11:15- morning nap.
14:30-lunch
15:00-17:00- afternoon nap (never happened still we have had 45 min crying and falling asleep )
18:30-dinner
19:00-20:00- bath time and fun time and top-up
20:00 good night.

he eats fruits, veggies, buckwheat, qinoua, almond butter, tahini, lentills, hummus- basically all vegetarian food of all sorts.
he eats well!!

activites:
he is at home with me so twice a day we go out to the park and lots of crawling and climbing, we have classes we are starting next week - like 3 times a week, and generally he is a very very active child!!!! loves moving every second of the time- sitting still is not his thing.
just to fill you in about today
night time -he woke up twice and we jingled he went back to sleep and woke up at 7:15
BUT
today again the morning nap in the stroller took a while and i think he got use to the rocking and if i don't do it he get's crazy crying and i can't make it stop with anything (i tried to make sounds and noises and jingle stronger then him like anna said with but with no luck )

and in the after noon nap he woke up after 30 min and again we had a 45 min discussion we 3 rounds of buffing and eventually it was 16:47 and i just came in and started the day after a round of buffing so he would be more relaxed.

i understand i need to be like a rock - i just get so frustrated that it is hard.
:roll:
tulik84
Inlägg: 3
Blev medlem: tis 27 sep 2016, 21:40

Re: feel that something is not quite right

Inlägg av tulik84 »

hi again..

so after a few days i definitely feel we are making a mistake and it is very discouraging.
if you can help me understand please.

at night time when we put him to bed it goes pretty smooth and he already slept for 11-11.5 hours but then the past 2 night he was waking up. the first night waking up and falling asleep for a few min and then waking up again. most times i just jingled and when he stood i went in at laid him down. after 1.5 hours he fall asleep until his usual morning wake up.last night between 3-5 same story but worse- we had to buff him twice and the first time it didn't even help- he cries like crazy and i can't make him stop. we believe he is teething and he had a little cold but i feel there must be a better way to handle this - so he can actually sleep and get better.

the day naps are not going well at all- and that is my main problem because they warn't going so well from the beginning.

the first nap 10:15-11:15 is in his stroller- today i tried it outside and it didn't work i had to go back home and put him at home in the stroller.
(until now it was a stroller at home)

the second 15:00-17:00 nap has the same problem every day- he falls asleep after 3-7 min but wakes up after 45-60 min and i cannot make him go back to sleep.i try to jingle, and when he climbes and stands in the crib i put him down and it happenes over and over until he goes into a crazy crying episode where he cannot relax. the past few days i just waited until it mellowed down and until it's close to his waking up time and went in and "woke him up' happy and all.

i am sorry for the long emails and questions but i am 2 weeks into the cure and although the nights were going great (until 2 nights ago and i hope that will pass) the days are very very hard and i am definitely doing something wrong since it is not possible that every nap is a struggle and a crying meltdown for him (and at this point it starts to be a melt down for me as well ).

he is not hungry - i feed I'm well and he has snacks in between
most chances he is teething but i don't believe that is the only reason cause the days naps weren't working well from the get go.

where is my mistake ?
:roll: #-o #-o
Sarisparis
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 2797
Blev medlem: mån 10 maj 2010, 14:31
Ort: Frankrike

Re: feel that something is not quite right

Inlägg av Sarisparis »

Hi Tulika :D

Your son is about 8 months old and that can be a hard period. Have you paid close attention to this chapter in the GNS-book (p114)? He needs a very solid attitude indeed and to get that right it is very important to be well prepared. So please read again :D

I believe your schedule is part of the explanation to the not so good day naps. Typically, the morning nap is 45 minutes (naps should be 5, 20, 45, 90 or 120 minutes, not 60 which is not a natural sleep cycle (go take a thorough look at the schedule chapter, starting p 143). The morning nap also seems quite far into the day, I believe it would be better to put it a little bit earlier. Same goes for the afternoon nap which is too late in the day. If he actually gets his 2h sleep and wakes up fresh at 17:00, chances are high he will not be tired enough at bed time. What do you think about the schedule at p 146 in the GNS-book? Take a look and get back :D

Schedule is also about eating of course and I would suggest you skip the between meal snacks. His stomach needs to rest and he will get a better global rythme if he eats regularly. Keep eating to breakfast (keep the early breastfeeding and offer a second breakfast one hour later, but not more), lunch, afternoon snack and dinner and make sure there's about 3.5-4 hours between the meals.

And as TorsMamma said, be sure to train standing up and sitting down along the day. When my kids were about this age I spent a LOT of time on the floor with them. It's better to go down on the floor and let the anxious baby climb on you then to pick him up and hence confirm there were a danger.

Hope you will get much schedule inspiration from the GNS-book, do not hesitate to post a new version here, we will be happy to comment it.

:heart:
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