Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well....

A parents' forum based on GNS (A Good Night's Sleep)
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scottie
Inlägg: 5
Blev medlem: lör 25 okt 2014, 22:06

Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well....

Inlägg av scottie »

We began the cure for our recent 2 year old tonight and don't feel like it went very well at all.
We wonder how we should proceed tomorrow night?

Her daytime schedule today was as follows:
7am wake up
8am breakfast
10am swimming
11.30 lunch at home
12.30- 1.50pm nap
afternoon at friends
5.30 dinner at home
6.20pm bathtime

my husband put her in the cot at 7.10pm and did corrective positioning and fanning for 25 minutes. then left with the jingle.
for the next 10 minutes she raised her voice for him and he responded with the jingle and there were 3 very brief periods of silence.
Then her voice changed to cries and escalated very much, my husband went back into the room, did a quick fanning and then exited.
the crying escalated even more, he went in again and on leaving she was incredibly upset, choking a bit and after doing more jingles, he ended up sitting back in the room while she fell asleep.

We feel very deflated since little girl got terribly upset, the whole thing went on for over an hour and a half, with only 10 minutes going ok, and that we had to depart from the cure in the end.

We would be so very grateful for your support!
With many thanks and best wishes
Anna
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi Anna,

Welcome to our forum! :D

So did you read the book at least 10 times? Do you have a plan for tonight?

So the basics are: You calm the child down in their bed.

So what are the plans for tonight, how did the bed routine go?

Did you laugh for at least 15 min before going to bed outside of the room?

Then you put to bed and leave with the jingle. First night you go in to the room and you calm your girl down with the sunfeather, you stand until she is calm but not asleep. Standing for 45 min is NOT uncommon! Doing it 10 to 15 times within the first 1,5 hour is not uncommon either. She has the right to react and have her own voice! Your job is to answer any questions she might have by being calm and assertive.

Here is the cheat sheet, start from the beginning with night 1 again is my advice. http://www.annawahlgren.com/index.php/v ... heat-sheet

On older children sometimes I give the advice to do the cheat sheet double the time. So night 1 is 2 nights and night 2 is 2 nights and night 3 is 2 nights, But it is all in you "attitude" you really need to be very calm, breathing like a YOGA instructor. LOUD as you hold the sunfeather! You enter with the jingle always X4 and when she is quiet you say it softly confirmingly X4 for the next 4 to 6 nights. :wink:

If she wakes up during the night you enter the room straight away the first night or two and do the sunfeather until calm but not sleeping, then exit again with the jingle. And sometimes you need to do this 20 times, it is not uncommon! She needs to question what you are doing and you need to answer that you are 100% sure what you are doing. So 100 questions needs 101 answers.

Reread the book as you are doing the cure it will give you new eyes. Please also reread the Safari chapter so you really know WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing.

Good luck tonight! :D 8)
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
scottie
Inlägg: 5
Blev medlem: lör 25 okt 2014, 22:06

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av scottie »

Hi and thank you so much for your reply.

Tonight was our 3rd night and did go better than last night.
Fanning for 20 mins, jingle out of the room. However the jingle she really doesn't seem to like and my husband ends up sshing from outside her door.
He didn't need to go back in, but she is not falling asleep to the jingle, as this has been really inflamming her, but she is calmer with the softer sshing.

We seem to now be in a limbo between the GNS cure and gradual retreat. We are trying to remain confident and clear, but we just don't quite know how this is going to pan out.

With thanks
Anna
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi,

GNS is just that a gradual retreat. They are not suppose to fall asleep to the jingle it is supposed to answer questions the child has please reread this chapter about the jingle again. She asks with a cry the jingle answers and you ensure it calms her down but fall asleep she does all on her own. This is calming a child down cure not putting them to sleep cure. We calm the children down to give them the prerequisite to go to sleep. We cannot make them sleep just give them the prerequisites.

Keep up the good work. Please reread the book again now when you are in the middle of the cure. :lol: :mrgreen:
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
annawahlgren
Upphovskvinna SHN-kuren
Inlägg: 15366
Blev medlem: mån 22 nov 2004, 22:46
Ort: Gastsjön

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av annawahlgren »

:D Please let me add the following:

:arrow: The jingle is there for communication. It's giving reassuring answers to the child's questions.

:arrow: The hssch-hssch, hushing, is there to stop communication. It's giving no reasssuring answers (or answers at all). Impatiently it says: "You be silent" :!:

Please follow the advice of TorsMamma, my chairwoman: read and reread the book. Read the whole book, both of you - until you understand the GNS theories, as well as the true purposes of the tools (of which actually the jingle is the most important). Once you have grasped the unique message of the GNS Cure, and only then - once both of you have fully understood my GNS concept, which is, I'd say, the concept of the very babies themselves - will you be ready to decide whether or not to go for it.

If you decide to go for it, then go for it. Don' try, test or change. Go for it!

If you decide not to go for it, then you should respect your agreed-upon choice by knowing why :thumbsup:

My best wishes to all of you,
Anna Wahlgren


O:) :heart: :sleep:
:D Nio barn, arton barnbarn, tre barnbarnsbarn och några tusen nästanbarn :!:
scottie
Inlägg: 5
Blev medlem: lör 25 okt 2014, 22:06

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av scottie »

Dear Anna and Torsmamma

Thank you so much for your replies. I am really most grateful.

It has been 8 nights now for us and since night 3, she is still taking around 30 - 40 mins to fall asleep, with one night taking an hour.

Every night she cries out for a good 10 minutes upon me or daddy leaving the room with the jingle. Then there are silences intersperced with calls for mummy or daddy. It is like she is checking we are still there and so letting herself fall asleep is still taking a long while. I see we need to make her feel more secure.

For the last few nights, she gets apprehensive and unhappy before even going in the cot, and this makes the start difficult. This is after we have had laughter over bathtime.

I am wondering whether to begin the whole process again from night 1 tomorrow night? I am thinking about this since then can go back to the start and get her calm and peaceful. I would do this this time instead of my husband.

I would be so very grateful for any of your thoughts.

With many many thanks and best wishes
Anna
annawahlgren
Upphovskvinna SHN-kuren
Inlägg: 15366
Blev medlem: mån 22 nov 2004, 22:46
Ort: Gastsjön

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av annawahlgren »

:D Dear Anna,

Whatever decision you make, it has to be your own; nobody else can make it for you. Take your time :!:

If and when you decide to go for the GNS Cure, however, you can count on our support throughout it all - provided, of course, that your decision be doubtless and sure, founded and grounded in the GNS book with all its theories clearly understood and embraced by your absolute inner conviction.

Yours
Anna Wahlgren


O:) :heart: :sleep:
:D Nio barn, arton barnbarn, tre barnbarnsbarn och några tusen nästanbarn :!:
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Dear Scottie,

Sure you can start the cure over, but for some children it does take some time for them to get the hang of things. :wink:

The most important thing is the laughter before bed, it needs to be at least 15 min or even longer say 20. She needs to feel really happy before bed! Then when going to bed you fly like an airplane into an already dark room no good night lamp or other tings. Just fly into the bed POFF down and leave! Putting to bed should take no longer than 2 min or perhaps 30 sec. :wink:

Leave with the happiest of jingles, you need to be able to laugh and sing with it, soo soo soo happy! :lol:

Your job is to convince her that it is FUN to go to bed and nice.

Good luck with tonight! :D 8)
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Now you got 2 great answers. :lol:
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
scottie
Inlägg: 5
Blev medlem: lör 25 okt 2014, 22:06

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av scottie »

Thank you so much for your replies.

Bedtime did get a little better.

For the last 4 nights it has regressed considerably.

She did start nursery 2 weeks ago for 2 mornings a week.

Our concerns are:

- She is absolutely dreading bedtime. Early on in the cure she would well up on getting her pajamas on. With time this is going backwards, to bathtime and now at suppertime she is getting upset about bedtime. Several times now she is crying all through the bath and afterwards, so making her laugh is too difficult. For too many nights now she has gone into her bed crying.

- She is averse to the jingle. on hearing it she says no to it and it isn't making her feel secure.

- now she doesn't want daddy at all at bedtime.

Any help would be most welcome!

With many many thanks
Anna
scottie
Inlägg: 5
Blev medlem: lör 25 okt 2014, 22:06

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av scottie »

Thank you so much for your replies.

Bedtime did get a little better.

For the last 4 nights it has regressed considerably.

She did start nursery 2 weeks ago for 2 mornings a week.

Our concerns are:

- She is absolutely dreading bedtime. Early on in the cure she would well up on getting her pajamas on. With time this is going backwards, to bathtime and now at suppertime she is getting upset about bedtime. Several times now she is crying all through the bath and afterwards, so making her laugh is too difficult. For too many nights now she has gone into her bed crying.

- She is averse to the jingle. on hearing it she says no to it and it isn't making her feel secure.

- now she doesn't want daddy at all at bedtime.

Any help would be most welcome!

With many many thanks
Anna
annawahlgren
Upphovskvinna SHN-kuren
Inlägg: 15366
Blev medlem: mån 22 nov 2004, 22:46
Ort: Gastsjön

Re: Please help - night 1 of the sleep Cure didn't go well..

Inlägg av annawahlgren »

:D Dear Scottie,

Please let me remind you:
annawahlgren skrev: --- your decision be doubtless and sure, founded and grounded in the GNS book with all its theories clearly understood and embraced by your absolute inner conviction.
I beg you: WITHDRAW.

"She is averse to the jingle. on hearing it she says no to it and it isn't making her feel secure."

The jingle does not work by itself. The GNS Cure does not work by itself. The child does not perform the Cure by herself. Please follow my advice as of above and, most importantly, take your time before you make up your mind to go for it. Or not.

For now, WITHDRAW. I am serious. What you are doing now (or should I say, not doing) is of no good, neither for you nor the child. Skip it :!:

Best wishes,
Anna Wahlgren
:D Nio barn, arton barnbarn, tre barnbarnsbarn och några tusen nästanbarn :!:
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