Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

A parents' forum based on GNS (A Good Night's Sleep)
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

We'll try this and let you know how it goes. Thanks for your help.
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

Hello

We're back with bad news. Due to a long period of unrest in the family our nights have gone downhill again. Our daughter (now 10.5 months) doesn't respond to the jingle anymore. She will fall asleep in her bed but only if she doesn't notice me leaving. If I jingle on my way out she gets up and starts crying straight away. Also, during the night the jingle doesn't calm her down anymore. I have to fan her back to sleep. Again, if I jingle my way out she will get up and start crying.

Do we have to start from the beginning to make to jingle work again? The fanning still works. I've not used the buffing since the beginning of the cure.

Please help us! Thanks!!!!
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi and welcome back. :D

Yes in your case I actually think doing a whole new cure might just be what you need. You have let the wolves back in the bedroom again and she doesn’t feel secure on her own any more. Read the Safari again and the security and calm chapter in the GNS book.

Do all the reading again and repeat the chapters in the book and recharge.

Also please ensure the bedroom is truly pitch dark so she can’t see anything in front of you even during the day.

What is her schedule like now?
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

Thanks for the quick reply.
Our schedule looks like this:

7 pm - 6 am: night (we tried everything to get her to sleep until 6.30 but it never ever worked)
6.15: bottle
7.30: breakfast
8.45 - 9.30: nap (She can manage 30-40 minutes now)
9.45: small snack (she can't manage until lunch without it)
11.45: lunch
12.30 - 2.30: nap (She can manage 90 minutes. Although I sometimes have to go back and fan)
2.45: snack
5.45: dinner
6.45: bottle
7 pm: sleep

We will have to change the schedule soonish to fit the breakfast in with going to nursery. She will start nursery when she's a year old and we will need to have breakfast at the latest at 7 am to manage to get out the door. I'm not quite sure how to go about this.

The naps are easier now. The darkness helps. The jingle still doesn't work for the naps but the fanning does and it is not such a struggle anymore. She also manages to sleep longer.

Ok, I will do the three nights like it says on the cheat sheet. I won't buff because the fanning really does work well with her.
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi,

This looks fine, please read the cheat sheet again and the security, peace and enjoyment relevant chapters in the book.

If it is the english version you have, please reread from the page 63 security. THis is were you are stuck today.

Also putting to bed 30 min early can promote better sleep in the morning and during the day. If she starts nursery 12 hour nights are almost a must i would say. 8)
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

I would love a 12 hour night but I just can't see it happening. Also, by the time we're home from work and had dinner, we will struggle to have her in bed at 6.30. At the moment, I already put her to bed 15 minutes early using the 15 minute rule. She will only go to nursery two days a week though.
I will start putting her to bed at 6.30 and the days I work will just have to be a bit later.
Doing the reading just now :D
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

We're back to a good night's sleep!!! Yay! The jingle works again and last night she fell asleep within 10 minutes without much protest. The early mornings are still difficult but that will hopefully change soon.

Thanks for all your help!
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

:mrgreen: =D> :mrgreen: =D> :heart:
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

Hello

Our nights are pretty good now although our daughter does still wake up once or twice some nights and needs a jingle to go back to sleep. We've not tackled the early wakings yet. Our daughter has started to have a poo between 5 and 5.30 am. This has been happening for over 2 weeks now. If I take her out to change her nappy (in her room with just a little light from the hall) and then put her back in her bed she goes mad. If I don't change her she obviously won't go back to sleep because she's uncomfortable. I take it there's nothing we can do to influence her morning poo time? Just wait for it to pass?

Thanks!
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi :D

You can try to give her Kiwi or proons in the morning and apple and banana in the evening. This will adjust the stomach a bit. It will take a few days but that is how it is. Also if you continue to change in the bedroom with almost dark and continue the jingle she will learn that the night isn’t over, but that as well needs those 3+7 days consistency. Don’t “try” things, DO things. With full conviction. What would you have done at 1 am in the morning if she poohed? Do the same.
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

Hello there

We're back once again :D
Our daughter is 18 months now. She's a very happy and energetic little girl and enjoys her night time sleep and her nap. GNS has made our life a lot easier! I think we still need to tweak things here and there though: Our daughter takes between 20 and 40 minutes to fall asleep. She hardly ever cries. Ususally she shouts and moans for a bit, then talks to herself and then falls asleep. She's not distressed and we only go in once or twice and very briefly fan to remind her it's sleepy time. Is it normal for a toddler to take so long to fall asleep?
Also, she wakes up between 5.30 and 6 am. We tried the alarm clock plan three times for several weeks but it didn't make a difference. She gets very angry and starts crying. The jingle and music/noise don't calm her down. I'm starting to worry a bit about the clocks going back in October!

Our schedule looks like this:
7 pm until 6 am night time (usually she gets about 10.5 hours solid sleep)
6.45 am breakfast
9.30 am snack
11.30 am lunch
12.30 pm until 2.30 pm nap
3 pm snack
5.45 pm dinner
6.30 pm milk top up
7 pm bedtime

I should mention that our daughter goes to nursery 2 and a half days a week.
She really does sleep well during the night and doesn't need our help very often. Her naps a pretty good as well. She sleeps a little less at nursery (usually 1.5 hours) but at home in her dark room she gets solid 2 hours.

I would be grateful for some tips!

Thank you!

Androo
TorsMamma
Forumets ordförande
Inlägg: 11152
Blev medlem: fre 17 nov 2006, 09:25
Ort: Stockholms Skärgård

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av TorsMamma »

Hi and welcome back! :D

So 18 months is a time of “pre defiant period” she has e BIG development phase right now. That means it can take some time to wind down from the days all activities. So if you have 11 hours night then a 2 hour nap is fine, but if you want the night to be longer say until 07 you need to shorten the nap a bit. Perhaps 1,5 hours would do the trick. If she takes a long time to wind down you can put her to bed 30 min earlier than usual this will give her time, it is the development phase that is the trick here. So keep up the attitude of confidence give her the laughter she needs right before bed, she needs to laugh for at least 10 min before flying in to the pitch dark bedroom.

Please read more about the 18 month Pre-tantrum/defiant period in the “for the love of children” then you will understand exactly what is happening, from her point of view.
Tor 2006
:heart: BB barn från början. Sov sin första 12h natt 5 dagar före 4 mån, Diplomerad SS vid 6 mån
:heart:

:heart: FTLOC child from the beginning. Slept his first 12 hour night 5 days before 4 months. :heart:
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

Thank you for the quick reply and the advice! We will start putting it into practice today.
I will read the chapter about the 18 months phase as soon as I get my book back from friend (I always recommend both of Anna's books to other parents).
Both books and this forum have been a wonderful help and we are very grateful!!
Androo
Inlägg: 26
Blev medlem: fre 16 nov 2012, 14:14

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Androo »

Hi there

We changed our daughter's routine 3 weeks ago so she would have a 90 minute nap and go to bed at 6.30 pm. She's usually asleep by 7 o'clock. Two days into this new routine she started to wake up at 5 am and she still does. So, instead of sleeping half an hour longer she now sleeps half an hour less.
Should we still keep going with this schedule or go back to putting her to bed later?

Thanks!!!
Sarisparis
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 2797
Blev medlem: mån 10 maj 2010, 14:31
Ort: Frankrike

Re: Nights a lot better - days a lot worse

Inlägg av Sarisparis »

Hello Androo :D

How have the mornings been since you wrote your post?

I looked back in your thread and noticed that the early mornings are not a new phenomenon. I'd say that your child is an early riser, but also that she needs her sleep. 5 am seems a bit early indeed. :lol:

How do you handle things in the morning? Do you have a Good Morning-hour? An alarm-clock? (I assume the room is pitchdark?)

Sometimes it's very useful to go back and read the thread from the beginning, it puts things into perspective and old questions and answers come into new light.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

:heart:
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