1-year old beginner, big brother is a Wahlgren's veteran

A parents' forum based on GNS (A Good Night's Sleep)
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maguelonne
Inlägg: 14
Blev medlem: mån 24 maj 2010, 20:12
Ort: New York, NY

1-year old beginner, big brother is a Wahlgren's veteran

Inlägg av maguelonne »

Hello,

We are back on the forum, and to Anna Wahlgren's method.
Two years ago, we started and succeeded in implemented the Good Night's cure with our 16 month-baby (http://www.annawahlgren.com/forum/viewt ... 49&t=22439)

We would like to start it with our 1-year old baby. Both (boys) are 2 and half years apart.
We live in a small New York apartment, and have only one room for the kids. Until now, our youngest child has always slept in our room.

We have a few problems and we are calling for help on how to do things:
- we will have the two kids in the same room, their room. The older child is quite happy about the fact that they are going to share rooms, however, he does not like it so much when the younger one cries very loudly. Also, what if he starts playing with the jingle, and to say it while we are training the younger one to sleep? Or to get up, or call for us, as he now does sometimes a couple of times (his blanket is not properly adjusted, he needs to go to the bathroom, etc.). At the same time, the younger child seems to fall asleep at times when he hears the voice of his younger brother, but could he get excited/distracted/afraid by the noises of his younger brother in his room? What if the older child starts playing with the younger one, getting each other excited. I am sure that you must have had the same question before of a younger child getting the cure in the same room as an older toddler?

- The older child has developed a bad habit (that we have not fought, because of our exhaustion after the arrival of baby #2) of getting up during the night and joining us in our room and end the night in a crib that we have left next to our bed. The same crib as the one we are planning on using. Once we put it in the kids' room, when the older one gets up during the night, he will not find it in our room. And if we bring him back in the kids' room, we have a high chance of getting a tantrum that will for sure wake up the younger child. How should we do things?

- For naps, the older kid is still sleeping in the stroller, and we may have taken another bad habit of going for a walk so that he falls asleep. Naps have always been what we have struggled the most with during our last Cure experience. Ideally, we would like to go back to good habits and have the two of them in their cribs for naps. The older one has probably never had a nap in the crib in the last two years. Now he is more used to napping in a little bed at school during the weekdays, so it is probably not mission impossible, but there is probably a need for someone to be in the room. And the younger child has never napped in his bed so it will also be difficult. How can we attend to both properly?

- Finally, how do we replace the rocking for naps in the crib? Is it the buffing?

In terms of timing we are thinking of starting the cure on next Sunday night (June, 10th), because we will have 11 nights and more ahead of us to do things by the book, and because the clock is ticking before we start traveling and moving around during the summer (with jet lag... :( ).

Thank you a lot for the time you spend helping others, and I hope you will be able to help us.

Maggie
Maggie and Pierre
Parents of Ambroise, born June, 14th 2011 and Theophile, born January, 28th 2009
maguelonne
Inlägg: 14
Blev medlem: mån 24 maj 2010, 20:12
Ort: New York, NY

Re: 1-year old beginner, big brother is a Wahlgren's veteran

Inlägg av maguelonne »

Of course, our signature was wrong, still the old one. Below is the updated one :)
Maggie and Pierre
Parents of Ambroise, born June, 14th 2011 and Theophile, born January, 28th 2009
Sarisparis
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 2797
Blev medlem: mån 10 maj 2010, 14:31
Ort: Frankrike

Re: 1-year old beginner, big brother is a Wahlgren's veteran

Inlägg av Sarisparis »

Hi maguelonne and welcome back :D

You've made a great decision, half of the job is already done :wink: :thumbsup: But before doing the actual job you have to study thoroughly the GNS-book. So start with some reading:

:arrow: The Safari
:arrow: Calme
:arrow: Security
:arrow: Enjoyment

before getting to the "technical" stuff. Ok? :D
maguelonne skrev:we will have the two kids in the same room, their room. The older child is quite happy about the fact that they are going to share rooms, however, he does not like it so much when the younger one cries very loudly.
They will both be happy to share room once things have settled. So do not worry about that.
During the cure, however, it is better if they sleep in separate rooms. There might be some nights of action and the elder son might be disturbed. If the apartment is very small it might be preferable to have the older son sleeping somewhere else for some nights (until the younger son has understood what the jingle is about).
Once the jingle is in use, it will not disturb the 'other' child. I have three children (4, 2 and 1 years old) sleeping in the same room and it happens that the baby wakes up at night. I have some times been jingling outside their door now and then for a total time of 30 minutes and that does not wake up the older boys. As your older son is already familiar with the jingle it will be even more easy.

:!: When several kids share room it is even more important to check that the room is pitch dark at night. Do the test day-time, you should not be able to see anything once your eyes are used to the dark.
maguelonne skrev:The older child has developed a bad habit (that we have not fought, because of our exhaustion after the arrival of baby #2) of getting up during the night and joining us in our room and end the night in a crib that we have left next to our bed. The same crib as the one we are planning on using. Once we put it in the kids' room, when the older one gets up during the night, he will not find it in our room. And if we bring him back in the kids' room, we have a high chance of getting a tantrum that will for sure wake up the younger child. How should we do things?
I suggest you explain to the older boy what is about to happen: that he and his brother will now sleep together :heart: - the whole night :P - in their own room \:D/ . You can also have a party to celebrate this new era that starts, maybe give each boy a special toy friend to have in bed from now on. Move the bed with his help into their room so that he realizes what happens.

Regarding your question about naps, where to sleep and so on, everything is about your attitude. A terrific tool is the bed time-laugh. Both kids should be laughing out loud before getting to bed and the actual putting to bed should be QUICK. Lights out and JINGLE. Do not thing that things will be difficult, because if you do they sure will. Simply consider that you're doing your kids a favor to learn them how to enjoy sleep in their own bed. Which is, by the way, a pretty good gift to give your children.
maguelonne skrev:- Finally, how do we replace the rocking for naps in the crib? Is it the buffing?
Read through the GNS before you start the cure. :D You will not need to physically assist your child after the first night(s). The jingle (if necessary) will do the job. The buffing is used in the beginning of the cure to help the child to calm in his own bed. Your current habit of rocking your child to sleep will no longer be needed as the cure will help your child to appreciate to fall asleep on his own. But as your younger son is already 1 year old, I'm not sure I would recommend buffing if he's not already used to it. Fanning might be the perfect tool for you. Read more in the Tool box about buffing and fanning and then decide how to do.

This is something to start with. :D So, first of all, back to the book 8) and then welcome back if you have anything else on your mind.

:idea: Do not hesitate to post your schedule before starting the cure.

:heart:
Sarisparis
Rådgivare/advisor
Inlägg: 2797
Blev medlem: mån 10 maj 2010, 14:31
Ort: Frankrike

Re: 1-year old beginner, big brother is a Wahlgren's veteran

Inlägg av Sarisparis »

:oops: I'm sorry, I realize my English is quite colored by the fact that I live in France :lol:

The chapters I strongly recommend in the GNS-book is

:arrow: PEACE
:arrow: Security
:arrow: Enjoyment

Please let me know if something else is unclear. :D

:heart:
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